Trust + Birthdays

Nothing like waiting for a baby to make you want to write stuff down...if not, you just might go insane. With the pregnancy finish line so close (and somehow oh so far), your heart and head end up all over the place. But I have had a little practice sorting it out in the past, and I may have even picked up on a couple things along the way.


Through all 5 of my pregnancies I've learned lessons in sacrifice, surrender, humility, patience, sorrow, gratitude... it's almost impossible for a pregnant woman not to. But mostly I've learned to practice Trust... and you'd think I'd have it down by now, yet it's a daily choice, by the moment really, to take your grip off of that reed basket you know you're trying to steer and just let go, again and again.

My oldest's birthday is tomorrow; I don't know how, but she's going to be 7! About 9 months ago, when we told her this new baby's due date, the possibility of interference with her own birthday, or worse, her big party, was of top concern. She's prayed about it, shared it with our church, wrote homework assignments about it, whispered it to my belly button for months... 

"Hi, I love you, but please don't come on my birthday."

One night this week it was at the top of her prayer requests once again and after a day being filled with contractions coming and going, I knew I had to say something. I tried to explain to my precious daughter (ironically, redemptively, humorously?) the concept of our own desires versus God's will - trusting His plan, not ours.

Now this is the same discussion that our adult group just had the other week, and even we struggled/struggle to really get it. But I always bring it back to my Jesus, and even He, yes the Perfect One, experienced this.

He knew His hours were running out and the very same people that had just welcomed Him into the city with shouts of praise would scream out "crucify him" come tomorrow. And Jesus prayed. Through literal blood, sweat, and tears, He prayed for His own desires.

I paraphrased to my little-big-girl that before Jesus went to die on the cross for us he told God,

"I don't want to do this whole thing anymore, please don't make me do this..."

But He didn't stop there, He followed it by saying,

"But more than what I want, I really want whatever You want, God."


She ask me to repeat it, she closed her eyes to hear it harder.

Jesus confessed to God his honest desire, His (dare I say self-seeking?) needs. But... over-arching it all, Jesus prayed this: I Trust You God and Your Good Plan, for me and for everything. 

"Your Will be done, not mine." ~Luke 22:42


With each season, with each baby, with each moment, have Your way. I Trust You, again and again.

 

(With all that being said, the doctor told us today to plan for a birthday party tomorrow and a baby by next week. The almost-7-year-old jumped for joy  :)

Keep Christ

 

 
"Keep Christ in Christmas" some like to picket. But what about

keeping Him in your today, tonight, tomorrow?

Keep Christ always.

Change of Address

Doug and I have moved as a family 6 times in less than 6 years. From my parents place to a rented shed, to an apartment with a mountain view, to a rancher (which was my pretty word for trailer), to his parents place, to an old farmhouse, and finally to our perfect family home we own now. And I plan to stay here for awhile. A really, long, settled while.


It's not like we were moving cross-country though; these half of a dozen relcations were just from NJ to Central PA or simply to the next town over to a place with a little more space (we also added a kid every other year or so). Our last move was less than a mile away just to have the unexpected opportunity to buy. Even still, it's a pain. The packing, the cleaning, the moving, the unpacking, and then...the dreaded change of address. Everything and everyone has to know you moved. I'm almost there... I still have some mail forwarded and some I have to pick-up in-person at my in-laws!

------

I've been in Exodus in the Old Testament for almost two months now. It's the amazing story of Moses and how God shows His power and faithfulness to the people of Israel. It's thrilling, and long, and incredible, and a tad specific, and holy, and ancient, really ancient. But this past week, as I was reading some of God's instructions to His people from thousands of years ago, I realized God made quite the drastic move, a serious, unbelievable change of address.

"Have the people of Israel build me a holy sanctuary so I can live among them," God instructed Moses to tell the Israelites in Exodus 25:8.

How incredible to have God live among his people, but how much more incredible is His set-up now!

I flipped straight to 1 Corinthians... in chapter 6, verse 19, the apostle Paul asks the Christ followers in the city of Corinth, Greece this: 

"Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?"

After God sent His Son to dwell on Earth, He sent His spirit to dwell in us. Quite intense relocations from a holy sanctuary built by the hands of the Israelites to the grounds of the Earth to me. Me. God lives in me. This body of mine He created houses His very own spirit. Not just among His people, but within His people. And all because of Christ and what He accomplished in order to make us holy.
We have been made into a sanctuary, suitable for God to dwell. What a change of address! What an incredible gift. What a responsibility.

He built me. He made me holy. I am the temple. His spirit was given to me. And He lives...in me.

Thank you, Lord, for moving. I'm so glad I opened the door.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock." -God

(Revelation 3:19-20)

Salt

Sometimes I really am searching for my lost shaker of salt... not for my margaritas, I'm out of that phase of life now. But honestly lacking in spiritual saltiness.

Jesus gave his disciples (myself included) the job title of "salt of the earth". (Matt 5:13) 

And Paul told the Colossian church to be sure their conversations were "seasoned with salt". (Col 4:6)

And so I've known salt to be a good thing, on fries and in life, but never really understood what exactly this spirtual salt stood for. So I did some research and looked into the uses of salt (call me a dork, it's cool)...what I found truly moved me, encouraged me, and convicted me to USE and BE salt.

4 Main Uses of Salt

• Enhances 
• Salt enhances the flavor of what already is; it brings out the best in something.
• Cleanses
• Salt lifts stains and dirt, removing residue and leaving it much cleaner than it was found. 
• Preserves 
• Salt preserves things in a state it is able to remain. 
• Heals
• Salt heals wounds and calms irritation. 

Let your words, actions, and entire being enhance, cleanse, preserve, and heal those around you. 

True salt. 

Jealous

I don't have much time... I'm sitting here typing one-handed with a baby on my lap and bottle in the other hand. I got two other munchkins riding anything with wheels down the front walkway with a side-smirk showing through because they know it's past bedtime. But I wanted to get this down, if just for myself, before my head hits the pillow seeming to erase the day's wisdom, etch-a-sketch style, gone.

I spent a good amount of time this morning replenishing a tree I've been turning into the local gathering place for the neighborhood birds. The tree tavern serves cardinals, jays, finches, woodpeckers, and hummingbirds... it certainly brings out the dork in me. But colorful visitors, especially while washing dishes (again) or during a particularly quiet naptime, brings variety and company right to my window.
I had restocked four feeders and added some fresh water; there was already a ton of activity and a hummingbird darting around me in anticipation with the nectar still in my hand.
But later, while my littlest ones were asleep, and I had a moment to stare and enjoy, there was nothing. Not one bird. And I was given a thought, a complete, uninterrupted thought:

If they know there is constant nourishment here, why would they even bother looking anywhere else? 

Oh, I actually said aloud.
Wow, is that me God? I do that too?
You too are constant. You are sustaining. You are abundant. You are never-ending. And yet I still look elsewhere sometimes. What else is out there? Is there something better, more convenient, tastier?
I've tasted and I've seen, so why ever leave, if even for a second, that Good, Life-giving Source.

"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.'" ~John 6:35

In that moment, I actually found myself jealous for these birds I've come to know, come back, come back, where did you go? I'm right here and ready to constantly feed you, fill you, enjoy you... but where are you?

"Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." ~ Exodus 34:14

Oh.

Respect Thanksgiving

Things have gotten a little busy around here with one in kindergarten and two in diapers. Even still, all sorts of little nuggets of thought are always floating around in my head and its always nice to be able to get them out with written words. And for both diapered wee ones to be asleep at same time right now is quite the mini-miracle... so here I go!

Something timely that's been on my mind this week is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving - the prelude to Christmas.

In our house, Daddy is pretty much the Grinch about all things Christmas until after the turkey has been put away and the football games are over. Then, he concludes, the Christmas season is permitted to begin. He has actually hidden dvds, banned christmas music in his presence (I sneak it in the car), looked the other way in stores, and yelled, "Nonsense!" to the early outdoor lighters. (Yet, he can put back n/a egg nog by the half-gal with no hesitation at anytime?) His exaggerated point in all this though - respect Thanksgiving first.

I guess I get it. But more than appreciating Thanksgiving as just a calendar holiday which falls before Xmas, Thanksgiving needs to be recognized in our hearts as a prerequisite to Christmas.

Respect Thanksgiving by giving thanks to the Giver for the greatest Gift of all.

I've been teaching our 2 year-old a bit about the holiday. I made a silly jingle up that we sing-"Thankful means I'm glaaad, glad for what I have!"
Some of the things he's thankful for? Apple juice, movies, his baby sister... and to my pleasant surprise, he included Jesus in his list. My toddler can tell you "Jesus. Love. Dougie." And it warmed my heart to know that he is already glad for what he has in Jesus.

To use Thanksgiving to its full prelude potential, we can prepare our hearts for what's on its way. Being thankful that precious Jesus is coming, then waiting on that expectantly with huge hope. We know what's coming, the big One is just around the corner, and we can be so glad for its impending arrival! Not with a rushed, antsyness that always ends with an anti-climatic mess of wrapping paper on the floor. But with a overflowing thankfulness for the Gift we know is coming, the Gift that has already been given, and the Gift that is here to stay in our hearts 365 days a year.

Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

 ~2 Corinthians 9:15

This Thanksgiving, as a personal reflection with yourself and God or as a family activity, think about making or writing out a "thank-you" card.
To: God.  From: Me. Don't just feel thankful on Thanksgiving, tell Him so. Remember His indescribable gift and His wonderful deeds!


We thank you, O God!
    We give thanks because you are near.
    People everywhere tell of your wonderful deeds.  ~ Psalm 75:1

Under Pressure

A turning point for me in my walk with God was realizing the only nuggets of wisdom I needed, the main source of advice, and the greatest encouragement came from my Bible. Self-help type books, 5 easy step fix-its, and inspirational quotes without God’s voice in them suddenly seemed useless. Often times they even contradicted each other – something that I hadn’t been able to identify before I really began to study and cherish the Word. But then it quickly became easy to decipher…this is what God says, this is what the world says. We all have the choice of who we are going to listen to.  Often we can’t listen to both, especially when they’re opposing each other.

With that being said, I didn’t expect to be moved by a fortune cookie the other night. They tend to be a dangerous blend of ancient Chinese proverbs, Biblical blurbs, psychic predictions, and pop song lyrics. But my husband’s strip of wisdom read, “Courage is grace under pressure.” 

Lately, I’ve been praying for grace… to give it, to choose it, to recognize it and pass it. And I’ve been feeling under pressure, just the day-to-day kind, surrounded by squabbles and young defiance mixed with some my own fatigue and irritability (plus an extra 25 lbs out front can put on some real pressure too).  But if courage equals grace under pressure, then is courage actually what I’m in need of?

Courage and Grace – two words that frequent my Bible and two promises that God has gifted us. I did I quick Google search to see if this quote may have actually been from the Book of Proverbs or something along those lines. After all, it fit the theme. But in fact it was Hemingway who said it. Ernest Hemingway. Probably one of the only authors from my school days that I could still remember the titles, plots, and themes of some of his novels and short stories. I always enjoyed his overly simplistic, yet somehow thoroughly detailed writing style.  A great author for sure, but not exactly God.

With this on my mind, I went to the Word. These verses were still perfectly fitting Hemingway’s concise definition, yet from God’s frame of reference. I learned what this housewife, mom, everyday-doer may been lacking is ever-present courage - the ability to give grace under pressure.

1 Corinthians 16: 13-14 instructs us to:

-Be on guard.

-Stand firm.

-Be courageous.

AND do everything with love.

Grace is just that. Courageously doing everything with love while standing firm and on guard despite the pressures around us.  Emphasis on doing everything with love.  God’s personal way of doing things, isn’t it?

Then Psalm 27:14 brings up another aspect. It says,

“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

So courage = grace under pressure. 

Grace under pressure = doing everything with love + waiting patiently.

The equation makes clear what I’m asking for and what I need, but the cookie was missing one key part that makes it all possible…God.

Titus 2:11-12 says, “For the grace of God has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age…”

The grace of God that has appeared and who teaches us to use self-control, even under pressure, is Christ himself. Without him, I wouldn’t stand a chance. And hear this…when He walked out on the water and his friends were terrified and freaking out, He called out to them, “Take courage. I am here!”

Because Christ is here with us we can take courage. We can display grace under pressure. We can choose to act in love and patience and self-control. Because He is here! When I’m praying under pressure, I’m asking to act in grace. When I need to act in grace, I must have courage. In order to do any of this, I must remember first that He is here. Mid-tantrum. Mid-battle. Mid-moodswing. Mid-contraction. Christ is there, so I can take courage. And when under pressure, I can choose grace.  

 _______________________________________________________________

(Speaking of courage = grace under pressure, this timely example is unbelievable! I journaled this before I heard this story, but what courage, true grace under extreme pressure.)

Jesus said...4

Forgiveness last week challenged me. What stuck the most was the parable of the King and the servant that Jesus told. Remember when the King forgave the servant of a huge, unpayable debt, the same servant immediately went out and acted unforgiving to another for a much smaller debt. The King in the story is like God and we are the servant that He undeservingly forgave. I imagine God saying to me, just like the King said, “I forgave you of that tremendous debt (all of your sins) because You came to me and asked. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your friend, parents, spouse, fill-in-the-blank, just as I had mercy on you?” Jesus’ stories may come off as abstract sometimes, but they are very personal analogies to give us a better understanding of what He’s saying to us.

Some topics, however, He explained in a pretty clear-cut way. Unfortunately, these might also be the ones we try to complicate the most. This week, we’ll focus on what Jesus said about Heaven. Heaven…the place He left to come down to Earth, the place He returned to when He rose again, and the place He promised could be for us as well.  This week we’ll be able to read the very words Jesus spoke about Heaven, how we get there, and what HOPE there is in that! Use this week as an opportunity to solidify or renew what you personally believe. Confess this statement of belief to God, for the first time or the fiftieth, and then share the joy of your hope with someone else! I’m so glad someone told me :) Now what Jesus said...

WEEK FOUR

 Our Hope of Heaven

John 17:3

-Jesus said this in prayer to God soon before being arrested. I’m so thankful He prayed it out loud for his disciples to hear and for me to read right now. It makes the complexity of Heaven seem more like a simple equation:   

Eternal Life = to know _____________+ _____________

           

What’s the difference between “to know” vs. “to know of/about”? (Do you know our President or do you know of him/about him?) Which did Jesus use?

John 5:24

-Look at the text…what actions are required of us to have eternal life?

 (Here’s a hint and a hallelujah…there’s only two verbs.)

John 6:47-51

-I’m sure when the disciples first heard this they were confused, possibly grossed out, yet since we know how the story “ends” with the Last Supper and Jesus on the cross, how does this analogy make a lot of sense to us?

-Go back in your Bible to Exodus 16 to gain more background on manna. This is where Moses is leading the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt and God sends down special food to sustain them.

John 14:1-4          

-What a great conclusion verse to this four-week study! With the context of all Jesus has told us, we do know the way. Write your own prayer of thanks. Tuck it in your Bible or tape it to your mirror, refer to it or pray it out loud when you need some hope!

Please comment below with your favorite verse from the last few weeks – feel free to share anonymously. Thanks for joining me in this… hope it stuck in your mind & blessed your heart.

Jesus Said...3

We’ve been challenged so far to trust and to give, and this week, perhaps the most difficult yet, Jesus says to forgive. 

Forgiveness is another topic where the rest of the world may say one thing, while Jesus commands the opposite. The world says worry, Jesus says trust. The world says store up, Jesus says give away. The world says it’s ok to hold a grudge, Jesus says let it go. 

If you think about it, the world keeps telling us to think about our self, while Jesus wants us to think about God and subsequently others instead.

When looking on forgiveness and restoring relationships, it’s easy to keep our attention on our self and the bitterness/anger that we are entitled to because of how we were wronged and how it made us feel. Yet staying in that place hurts the same person we’re focused on: our self. What has helped me in my own unforgiveness and bitterness has been turning the attention away from me and up toward God, and in doing so I am given the ability, the reason, the push to forgive others. 

Away from self, toward God, extending to others.

Romans 5:8 reminds us that “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” While we were still in the wrong, God loved us, showed it, and restored our relationship with Him. We hadn’t yet offered an apology, we weren’t in any way remorseful, perhaps we weren’t even aware of what we had done, but God forgave. “You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins.” (Colossians 2:13) 

God’s forgiveness toward us is the only example and motivation we need to forgive others. If we can keep our focus on what God has done for the sake of our relationship with Him, gratefulness and grace will eventually overflow out into our relationships with others. It's important to realize forgiveness and restoration may or may not involve actual words being spoken, or apologies being offered, or even any recognition of doing wrong (we hadn’t done any of those things when Christ died for us), but forgiveness does involve God. And it’s His sincere desire for you to be like Him and forgive. Here’s what our Savior, Teacher, and Friend said about it…

WEEK THREE: 

Forgiveness in our Relationships

Matthew 18:23-35

        -Relate the story to what Christ has done for you. Who do you hold unforgiveness against?

Matthew 6:14-15

      -Think of the Golden Rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. If you refuse to forgive others, but desire that God forgives you, are you following Jesus' timeless advice?

Matthew 7:1-5

      -Think of an example of a speck in a certain friend's eye (a small fault) and a log in your own (a serious sin). Which does Jesus tell us to get a handle on first, another's speck or our own log? Why does this order make sense?

Luke 17:4

      - According to Jesus, you should forgive that person 2,555+ times a year!  Does this mean you must hang out with them everyday or invite them to hurt you? Where does Jesus tell us forgiveness toward others must come from? (*go back to Matt 18:35)

Lord, thank you for these words, even if they are a little difficult to hear. Thank you that you have forgiven us in Christ and we pray that the least we can do in return is offer that same, undeserved forgiveness to others. I pray I can keep my eyes on You and what you have done for me; please help me to forgive _____________ in my heart. Amen.

He's lucky this wasn't apology number 8 that day  ;)

Jesus Said... 2

WEEK TWO 

I hope everyone felt encouraged by last week’s readings and questions. We learned how God certainly cares for us when we trust in Him, when we seek the Kingdom of God above all else, there is no need to worry. I once heard that worrying is sinning because it is a lack of faith, a fullness of doubt. Definitely makes sense, but if worry is sin, how much have you sinned today? The opposite of this is trust, and trust in Jesus is what brings peace of mind and heart, the only cure that is available nowhere else.  I am so thankful for the gift of peace of mind and heart that Jesus left us with; I pray I choose to utilize it daily!

This week we’ll look at what Jesus said on the topic of our “stuff”. We read last week not to worry about what we are going to eat or wear, but what if these things don’t just consume our minds, but our hearts. We live in a culture of abundance; even the families that live paycheck-to-paycheck in this country (present!) are for sure “wealthy” compared to most of the world. (i.e., half of the world’s population lives on less than $2 a day. Source: World Bank, 2005) So this week may be challenging to hear, it’s definitely in opposition to what society might tell us, but ask God to slowly change your heart to be more like His and He can! Just spending time in His Word can start big changes. (This week I put all questions under the verse they refer to. Try one-a -day to give yourself time to really think and pray on them.)

Here’s what Jesus said about…

Our Money, Possessions, & Riches.

Matthew 6:19-21

                -Where are your beloved treasures stored right now? 
                 Jesus said that’s where our heart's at too.

Matthew 19:21

-Does this give a better understanding of what “store your treasures in heaven” from Matt 6:20 might mean?

Luke 6:24-25

-If our happiness is found only in our money, dining, luxuries, and good times, what does Jesus say we will have to look forward to?

Luke 12:16-21

- This parable (story with a lesson) is like Jesus’ version of “Hoarders” from 2,000 years ago! What is it that you hang on to that you think will make you happy?

-Jesus said a fool is a person who _______________, 

  but does not have a _______________. (verse 21)

Luke 21:1-4

-Should giving depend on what’s leftover (your surplus)? How does giving like the woman did relate back to last week’s topic of worrying vs. trusting?

Lord, thank You for giving us godly financial advice. And I pray that my relationship with you will always be my greatest treasure.  Help me to loosen my grip on my stuff and reach out to You instead. Amen.

Jesus Said...

This post is for anyone who wants to join me over the next four weeks in some super simple study of what Jesus said. If I desire to imitate Christ, I’ve gotta know what He had to say, right? And He had lots to say! So I’m looking only at the documented words of Jesus himself (found in the Gospel Books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John). Some of what came out of Jesus’ mouth is clear as can be, other statements take some thinking through (or praying through, really).

So each week, we’ll take a specific topic and look a just a handful of passages. And while the quotes from Jesus were spoken over 2,000 years ago, you’ll find out each one is super applicable in our 21^st century, everyday life. Ask God how to apply it to your life, right now, today. We’ll be able to use the comments section to discuss all sorts of thoughts: how can you improve to better match Jesus’ attitude in this area, who do you know that exemplifies this attitude in their life, what holds you back from acting like this, what verse do you need to stick on your dashboard, etc.

I just planned on compiling this and studying it alone over the summer, but once I started organizing it all together, I thought someone else may enjoy/benefit from this too. So please join me, and my goal also… to know, review, and understand what Jesus said so I can strive to be like-minded.

(I’ll post each topic with verses on Sunday nights. We’ve got the whole week to read them all (in your own Bible or via links provided to the New Living Translation), write them down, pray about em, pick one to memorize, apply them, comment and discuss, yada yada. You can subscribe on here to get it e-mailed to you or I’ll also post to FB. No more about me, here’s what Jesus said…)

____________________________________________

WEEK ONE

Don’t Worry, Trust in Jesus

Matthew 11:28-30
Luke 12:22-31
John 14:27
Matthew 6:34
Matthew 10:28-31

Some questions to think about, answer, or discuss:

-What's the literal definition of yoke? Try a Google image search of yoke and apply it to what Jesus said.

-How does God take care of flowers and birds? According to Jesus, how does God feel about you?

-What gift did Jesus leave us with? Can we get this anywhere else? 

-How much of your day do you spend worrying about tomorrow/the future?

-Do you constantly fear people who might hurt you (terrorists, criminals, etc.)? Who's the only one you should fear? What's your value to him? Feel better now?  :)

Thank you Lord that because of You we don't have to worry. Not about what to wear, if we'll have enough to eat, the future, or even death. Thank you for the peace that comes from trusting in You and the comfort that comes from Your very words. Amen. 

New

For the month of January at our home pre-school, we focused on the theme of  "new".  New Year. New home. New friends. New Jersey. Lots of newness! Our bible verse was 2 Corinthians 5:17 which Baileigh can tell you says, "Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person, the old life is gone and the new life has begun." With this theme of new and this matching verse, I was able to share my testimony with my daughter for the first time. It was in the simplest form possible, but it still took a lot for me to share with her. I just said, "You know, Jesus made Mommy a new person. Daddy too. We didn't know Jesus when we were growing up. But now that we do, He has completely changed us. We're so glad our old life is gone." The only thing she didn't understand was how I could have not known about Jesus, I guess because her day-to-day is pretty filled with Him. But that just made me feel like I must be doing something right! She and I learned some of the sign language to go along with the verse like we usually do, but this time, it really connected with me. The sign used for "gone" looks like you're pulling something out of your brain, like literally removing it from your mind. I loved that. It wasn't like you were pushing it behind you or sweeping it under the rug. Instead it's removed. Extracted. Erased. Gone. For good.

Marriage Retreat 2013

I know it. But even still, there's times when I'll hear a whisper telling me it's not true. "You're still who you were, you'll never really change, that's just what you've always been." The lies like to creep in my head when I'm not paying attention, and lately they've been pretty loud. But good thing I memorized that Truth last month with my 4-year-old and the Truth overrides it all. I belong to Christ. He has made me new. My old life is gone. My new life is here. And He is continuing to make me new in all aspects of my life. The obvious ones are the things I can see: how I spend my time, what I choose to do and say. But even deep in my heart and mind, He has and still is making all of it new. The Bible says to not act like everyone else or like you used to, but instead to let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:2) Another translation of that same verse says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Let God renew your mind. He can make not only you and your life new on the outside, but every thought new. Completely new. Not how you once thought, not how you've thought for as long as you can remember. Not giving in to the lie that it's how I've always been and how I'll always be. But instead LETTING God transform you, starting with the way you think. Don't settle for how it was. Don't be content with how it's always been. Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life, all of it, is gone. Get rid of it. Pull it out of your brain, like the sign illustrates so powerfully, and don't let it back in. Then hand your mind over to God and He will make it new. Fill it with Truth and don't leave room for the lies. If they sneak in, pull em out again and replace them with more Truth. I recently confessed to my husband that I've really been doubting myself and my abilities, and Doug said so simply, "Then you need more Jesus." Touche babe. Only He is able to make beautiful things where junk once stood, but you have to let Him, and be willing to let your old ways of thinking go, and replace it with new, new, new. When you do this (Romans 12:2 continues) then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  

"Letting go of my past

And glad I have another chance

And my heart will dance

'Cause I don't have to read that page again

Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone"

-Kirk Franklin, "Imagine Me"

(I came across this song in college. 

It gave me my first glimpse of what "new" could look like; 

the end still gets me every time)

he isn't here..

This morning I found myself stupidly staring at Facebook. I was on Drew's profile, just purposelessly looking. Even though he passed away a few months ago, Facebook still declared to the world today that it's his birthday. I've wished him happy birthday every year for the last 14 years, actually in person before Facebook, imagine that. So naturally I thought I'd just write a typical "happy birthday drewy poo" on his wall anyway. Then I thought, as much as this might make me feel better right now, birthdays probably aren't relevant where he is. So instead I sat there just thinking about how he surrendered himself to God before he died, and how awesome that is. And I tried to think from an eternal perspective instead of an earthly one filled with Facebook and birthdays and tears. When I finally snapped out of it and stopped staring at my laptop, I thought of this story from the Bible.

Days after Jesus had died, Matthew 28 tells us Jesus' dear friends "Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb". Both Marys loved him and watched him suffer and die, they were there when he was buried, but now they are going back to look, not at a person, just a tomb. I could imagine them not knowing what to do, they were thinking about him constantly and wanted to feel close to him, so the best idea they could come up with was to just go and look. At first they were staring at a sealed tomb, but then "an angel of the Lord came down from Heaven" and said, "“Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." 

Drew's not here. And as much silly comfort as it gives me (and maybe you) to stare at his Facebook, just like Jesus' friends stared at His tomb, he isn't there. He isn't on this Earth, he isn't on Facebook. He is remembered in our hearts, but he has risen, just as God said. He is not here; he's with God, and that's an awesome birthday. Miss you friend. 

the Perfect bag

This past summer I was asked to teach dance at a Christian sports camp. Right up my alley, I thought. No problem. I choreographed a fun jazz dance to a praise song, refreshed myself with a little technique, and gathered up some music. Easy. Then I realized I'd also have to be talking to these mostly 8-11 year-old girls about Jesus. Man, I thought, what if someone had talked to me about Jesus during those years, how different my life might have been! What hurt my heart might have been saved from. I would have heard about love in a whole different light - a love that wasn't interested in make-up or mini skirts, but a Love that already was in place and could replace all of that! Instead though, that age was a turning point  in the wrong direction for me. I'm able to look back now and be grateful for my past, with all its hurt and struggle, but only because it eventually  led to perseverance, character, and hope for me (Romans 5:3-5). Yet at the same time, I couldn't help but to think about the impact Jesus could make on these young girls at this crucial time.

Mine happens to be a diaper bag  :)

So one of the days at camp we were to discuss with our groups the importance of Jesus in our individual lives. How could I explain this in a way that young, impressionable girls might be able to relate to? I didn't want to give them the details of my personal story - too much for a little girl to handle. I could just imagine the phone calls of parents coming in the next day LOL. But as I was packing my bag that day, a perfect teeny-bopper-sized analogy of my testimony came to mind. Even now, it's a perfect reminder for myself every time I pack my purse.



I told the girls that I was first introduced to Jesus right after turning 14. At that time, I was a busy young woman. Dance, school, plays, more dance, friends, boys, and dance filled my schedule. I told them to imagine their favorite purse. And if life was this adorable bag, then I had all of my interests and activities already thrown into my big bag of life at age 14. So when I heard about Jesus, and liked it, and started going to church, I simply threw Him and church in my bag with everything else that was already in there. He was in there definitely, I said, but sometimes I couldn't get to Him with all the other stuff on top. He definitely got a little smooshed by all those activities, especially the Sunday rehearsals, and sometimes was close to being crushed altogether by the friends, parties, and boys that were overflowing from my bag.

The girls got this! We passed an empty tote around and they each shared all the stuff that fills their cute, little girl, "life bags." They laughed and smiled. But then I told them that as I got older and experienced some challenging things, I realized that Jesus can't just be thrown into our bags like all our other interests and activities. Jesus needs to BE THE BAG - the Protector, the Vessel, the Life. HE holds all of it in place and we need to trust Him to carry it all. Everything in our lives needs to find it's place in this Perfect purse we're given. But also, sometimes a girl has just gotta clean out her stuff! Get rid of the junk, so that she can use and appreciate her beautiful Bag.

1 Corinthians chapter 8 verse 6 reminds us: "yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live." And so we choose Him and trust Him to carry all of our stuff - in every outfit, in every season, every day - our Perfect bag.

It made sense to a bunch of little girls, and again to me this morning. Maybe it did for you too and every time you grab your bag on your way out-the-door, you can remember who's really holding it all together :)

Thank You for the Cross

I love the crazy range of emotions that this week brings. This past Sunday brought excitement and anticipation as we remembered Jesus triumphantly entering Jerusalem, then Thursday comes with reverence as we reflect on the Last Meal and His final hours. Friday is a somber day, focusing on the cross and His death. But isn't it awesome that we only have to wait until Sunday to rejoice and celebrate!!

It's easy to want to skip right to the fun and joy of Easter and not think about the hard and deep emotions of what happened just days before. But how much more can we celebrate Sunday morning when we remember what was actually done for us! While the cross brings about intense emotion, it still all comes down to love. Believing that I'm someone worth dying for needs to come hand-in-hand with believing that He is risen. I can rejoice for my life being resurrected this Sunday also because it's finished. It's already been accomplished. For me and for you. 

"He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world." says 1 John 2:2.

On Good Friday in 2004, my whole family went out to dinner and then went to the movies to see The Passion of the Christ. When we left, I was sobbing so hard I could barely stand up. With every gruesome strike and blow to Jesus, I said to myself, "That was for me." 

1 Timothy 1:15 summarizes my personal reminder, "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst."

While the visual depiction of the type of torture that Jesus endured is painful to watch, sometimes a tangible reminder is needed. I made a tradition of watching the film every Good Friday, as an annual visual for me to keep in mind. I often laugh remembering my mom's response to the film and my tradition. "That is the most depressing movie I've ever seen," she said. "I don't know how you watch that." And while it may be graphic, intense, brutal, saddening, and overwhelming, the overall message is the very opposite of depressing. It is the joy, freedom, love, redemption, and life that came out of it all. 

A Jewish couple from our church back in NJ shared that they actually walked into the the film for a casual movie night and came out believers. For the first time, they felt the tug in their heart that this was Truth and it happened for them. I try to remember that tug in my own heart every year. As a visual person, a depiction of the crucifixion can give that to me. My husband - not so much. We went to see a Christian-themed ballet a few weeks ago, and at one point they actually displayed a dancer up on a cross. As they raised him, Doug said under his breath to me, "Oook. They're really gonna do this, huh?" While I can appreciate the depiction, he'd just rather not see a human performance of His Savior. 

But whatever your preference might be, we need to take time this week to reflect on what was done for us through the cross. Only then will we be able to fully celebrate the Good News this Easter morning. Through reading, prayer, art, quiet time, films, music, dancing, church services, not eating meat, or whatever - remember the cross this week. Experience the range of emotion that it comes with. And rejoice with all your heart this Sunday.

 Happy Easter!  

Childlike Faith

At her preschool last week, my 3-year-old daughter did a project where they explained to their teacher what they thought Jesus might look like. Many kids said like a "baby in a manger" or like "my daddy." My little girl had much to share about this topic. She filled the page and said:

"Jesus looks like a big, strong man. He is tall. He is short. He changes colors. And he makes earthquakes and the ground shake."

I saw it on the wall and thought with a proud smile, "Wow! That's my kid." Immediately I started thinking of scripture that supported my daughter's explanation. The Lord is strong and mighty, says the Psalms. The Gospels tell the story of Jesus coming to earth as a baby, and dying on the cross as a man - tall AND short! He changes colors? Yes, He did! "As he (Jesus) was praying the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightening," says the Gospel of Luke. And Hebrews 12:24 says... "At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, 'Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.' " It's all accounted for! :)

Then I looked at the picture. Up until a week or so ago, my little one's doodles were entirely undecipherable. But this was actually clear to me, looking from the side, I saw Jesus with long hair, on or next to a cross, with rainbows over Him. Rainbows... God's symbol to Noah as a reminder of His promise. Also, the Book of Revelation describes the one who sits on the throne like this: "And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne." Maybe that big green circle with two legs is even a throne!?? Haha! I stood in amazement over my daughter's spiritual gift, taking some credit for sharing simplified bible stories with her and telling her how much Jesus loved her. But never, ever had I gone as far as to suggest anything close to this.

I proudly texted my husband about it, and then my daughter explained her project to me. She spoke in an extremely nonchalant and matter-of-fact kind of way. Almost like saying, "Duh, Mom!" And then I realized... bigger than my proud mommy heart, bigger than any kind of "gift" my munchkin might possibly have, is my daughter's faith - her unshakable CHILDLIKE FAITH.

The beautiful story of Jesus and the little children goes like this - People were bringing their kids to sit with Jesus. Some told them to get away, but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Then Jesus embraced and blessed them. (from Mark 10:14-16)

Jesus was suggesting that we must believe in Him like children believe - with wonder, excitement, and full-blown trust. Not like adults full with reason, pride, and suspicion. Believe with a childlike faith and when the question arises "But how do you know it's true?" you can respond like my little girl and simply think to yourself, "Duh!"  :)

Booing Jesus

 Christianity sucks. 

Says who? Close to 97 percent of my generation does!

I have heard and read this statistic multiple times - just 3 percent of America's young people have a positive view of Christianity/Jesus. This is a pretty startling and upsetting statistic for me to see about my own generation, but I get it. There are all sorts of explanations for why the youth of America has decided to boo Jesus, but unfortunately, it mostly comes down to the fact that society equates Christians with Christianity.

Every human being, Christians very much included, struggle with a constant battle of choosing good or evil, grace or judgement, love or hatred every day. Again, Christians are not an exception here, but the good news is we have a lifeline. The lifeline is Jesus - who is overflowing with goodness, grace, and love. And the key to overcoming the struggle is to lean on Him to pull you out.

Now society anticipates that Christians should act like Jesus, represent His brand, be a walking billboard, and the like. "That guy says he follows Jesus, and he just did that?! Then I don't like him or this Jesus guy he follows." I can imagine thousands of variations of that idea in an attempt to justify a negative view of Christianity/Jesus. But society must see the reality that Christians are not perfect, nor should we ever claim to be, but Jesus was! (And still is.)

Don't get me wrong, this is not to give Christians a free pass to make a mess of things. I think a huge problem with Christians ( I put myself in this category too), is that the God we KNOW is not always the God we SHOW. We know we are only able to claim the title of being "Christians" through God's forgiveness, love, and kindness. He has extended such goodness to us, that the least we can do is share it with others, but we don't always succeed in doing that. It is far too easy to stay within our comfortable church walls sometimes, letting society only see/hear about what some Christians are up to on the news. And as a journalism student, I know a producer will happily choose a corrupt, pin- him-as-a-hypocrite type story over some amazing act of goodwill or mercy that occurred that day. Yet as Christians, we have the ability to overcome these negative views by living out a radical, Jesus kind of love-filled life. And as a society, we refrain from holding Christians to an impossible standard of perfection.

Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, admits he is far from perfect, and yet that didn't stop him from being perhaps the all-time best spreader of Christianity.

He says, "I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us." (Phillipians 3: 12-14)


As a fellow sinner and spreader of the Good News, I similarly declare, " I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but that doesn't stop me from striving to live more like Jesus. I have completely let go of my past, because God let go of it first. And now I can look to my future, here on earth and in heaven, with the confidence that I am forgiven and loved."


Christians aren't perfect - but Jesus is. We can try to be advertisements for Him, but we can only do so much, especially if people can't see past our imperfections. Still, we should strive daily to let the God we know be the God we show to the world. But in the end, the best spokesperson for Jesus is Jesus himself and you'll only find the real truth about Him in His Word (the Bible). So maybe my generation just needs to do some good old reading and less news watching, but in the meantime, I'll keep doing what I can to share the Truth and pray that society stops booing Jesus, because no matter what you do, He will never boo you.


"... my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." (Acts 20:24)

Who Am I?

Perhaps one of the biggest questions of all time asked by human beings is "Who am I?"  Insecurities fill our mind such as why am I here and do I really have a purpose? We can fill the question with all sorts of silly answers that sound good to us or we can stress over not having an answer to them at all OR we can choose to know that the question has already been answered for us... not by some self-help book or even by the beloved Oprah, but instead by the Creator of the Universe. God says plenty in His Word about who you are, specifically who you are because of His Son Jesus Christ. And since God created you,  I think He definitely has the authority to answer the question. Here is a handy, compiled list of who God says you are and what you have in Jesus, just in case you wake up some mornings questioning it all.

IN CHRIST I AM...

• complete
• free
• holy
• chosen
• without blame
• forgiven of ALL my sins
• delivered
• redeemed
• born again
• healed
• greatly loved
• strengthened
• more than a conqueror 
• an overcomer
• an ambassador
• not my own
• God's workmanship
• a joint-heir with Christ
• a temple of the Holy Spirit
• a doer of the Word of God
• the voice of His praise

I HAVE...

• the mind of Christ
• the peace of God
• God living in me
• received the power of the Holy Spirit
• put off the old me and put on the new me
• no lack
• a shield of faith
• a spirit of power and love
• a sound mind

All of these assuring answers about who God says you are are clearly stated in His Word.. pick a few to remind yourself of everyday. Maybe even put a note on your mirror with the ones that resonate with you or you need to remember the most. If you want to know where in the Bible to find any of these, ask me and I'll gladly get the actual verse for you. Someone once told me that what we say is least important, what we do is of great importance, but who we are is of the utmost importance. Remember who you are.

God KNOWS You

"Jesus Loves You" is a phrase popularized by bumper stickers, songs, t-shirts and the like. Another poster-worthy slogan is from John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son..."

And while this is so very true, it's important to realize that He doesn't just love you with a general, overlying kind of love. He loves the "the world", but He loves it person by person by person (and I could keep going with that approximately 6.8 billion times). And because His love is individual, it comes with intimacy. Not just for you to have with the Creator of the Universe, but for Him with you as well.

How awesome is it that God makes it perfectly clear that he knows who we are? How much easier is it to have a relationship with someone who knows everything about you versus a stranger? God says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." (Jeremiah 1:5)

Go ahead and grab a thesaurus and look up the word KNOW. According to Websters, if God "knows" you, then these things are also true:

• God appreciates you.
• God comprehends what you are going through.
• God distinguishes you from everyone else.
• God grasps who you really are.
• God notices you!

All of these synonyms for the word know just blow my mind because it shows exactly how God loves "the world " and that is very, very personally.

Even if you don't know God right now, thank Him for taking the time to KNOW YOU. After all, relationships can only happen if someone does the initiating ( for example, my now husband decided to message me on Facebook one day LOL). But you can be glad that the awkard "get to know you"  phase has already been done for you!

Galatians 4:9 says "Now that you know God - or rather are known by God, how is it that you are turning back to your previous ways?" Knowing that God really knows you should be enough to blow you away and change your life. It's a great place to start and an amazing thing to be reminded of.