Believe in a Baby

We have an obnoxiously loud, talking nativity in our house that my daughter likes to play again and again and again. But at times, even our story-shouting manger seems to be drowned out by "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" and continuous Justin Bieber (this song is really on again?!)

What are we actually celebrating? I remember as a kid finding out about Santa and feeling like the whole world had deceived me. I naturally started wondering if the whole baby in a manger thing was some big fairy tale too. It's easy to understand how a child might assume such a thing, what with story of the North Pole somehow mixed in with the story of Bethlehem. Even for an adult, the fantasy of the holidays can become dangerously jumbled with the miraculous Truth. And while Santa might be a fun way to celebrate God's love at Christmas time, the greatest gift in the history of mankind came as a tiny baby over 2,000 years ago. And it's that same gift that gives us hope this Christmas.

Our pastor suggested to us this Sunday that for the next week leading up to Christmas, everytime we see or pass by a manger or nativity scene (even if it is juxtaposed with a flying reindeer) we should actively remind ourselves,

"It is true." 

Luke's "carefully investigated" "orderly account" states: 

..the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”-Luke 2:10-12

It is amazing. It is miraculous. It is our eternity... and it is true! This Christmas I pray that you can be very merry in knowing that God sent Christ for you. 

"Thank God for his gift too wonderful for words!"

- 2 Corinthians 9:15

Merry Christmas!

Breaking Free

I've started an accidental ritual every Tuesday afternoon. While the little ones nap, I fold the laundry in front of the TV, completely captivated by "Hoarders" and "Intervention" on A&E. Then I end up sobbing over my folded piles almost every time. Sometimes I even end up on my knees praying for these people by name. As much as reality TV may have muddled television forever, shows like these have reminded me of a hard reality - these are actual people out there right now struggling with very real problems. And I think that's why I can't stop watching, the battle is something we all can relate to.

Whether it's clutter, addiction, guilt, pornography, money, depression, food, insecurities, or whatever else - we all have things that attempt to control us. They demand our ongoing attention, drain us of our true joy, and leave us feeling overwhelmed and overpowered. Defeated. Hopeless. Stuck.


We all can be pinned down by these strongholds in our lives, some with stronger grips than others. And when you come down to it, the struggle lives in our minds. But what a dangerous place to dwell! The mind can distort and justify all sorts of things, but only we can take back our thoughts and fix them on what it true. And what reassurance we have in knowing that God is so much bigger than all of these things! Even the strongest of addictions or the most overwhelming feelings of despair can not compare to the power of God. I'd love to create a metaphor along the lines of a lamp is hopeless if it doesn't plug into and depend on an ultimate power source, but I don't know squat about electricity. So I'll just let the Word speak for itself:

"We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God." (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

...and some of these obstacles can by handled and destroyed instantly, yet others may be a battle each time you wake up for all the days of your life. Also, not one of us is guaranteed to never "relapse."  But God has given us all we need to overcome simply by taking back our thoughts and turning them over to Him. Peeling off the gripping lies one by one and setting our minds on Him, His Power, and His Truth.

 "Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." (Romans 8:5)

Your "flesh" may strongly desire power, or alcohol, or possessions, or love in all the wrong places - but only God can set you free from those things and give you abundant life. I've seen it and lived it, and yet am still amazed over the reality of God's transforming power. Let God give you what He desires for you - your freedom.

Whom the Son sets free, is truly free indeed. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I don't even know where my life would be,
If you hadn't shown, shown your love towards me
Broke the chains, the chains that were binding me
Gave me liberty, Set me free

Childlike Faith

At her preschool last week, my 3-year-old daughter did a project where they explained to their teacher what they thought Jesus might look like. Many kids said like a "baby in a manger" or like "my daddy." My little girl had much to share about this topic. She filled the page and said:

"Jesus looks like a big, strong man. He is tall. He is short. He changes colors. And he makes earthquakes and the ground shake."

I saw it on the wall and thought with a proud smile, "Wow! That's my kid." Immediately I started thinking of scripture that supported my daughter's explanation. The Lord is strong and mighty, says the Psalms. The Gospels tell the story of Jesus coming to earth as a baby, and dying on the cross as a man - tall AND short! He changes colors? Yes, He did! "As he (Jesus) was praying the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightening," says the Gospel of Luke. And Hebrews 12:24 says... "At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, 'Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.' " It's all accounted for! :)

Then I looked at the picture. Up until a week or so ago, my little one's doodles were entirely undecipherable. But this was actually clear to me, looking from the side, I saw Jesus with long hair, on or next to a cross, with rainbows over Him. Rainbows... God's symbol to Noah as a reminder of His promise. Also, the Book of Revelation describes the one who sits on the throne like this: "And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and ruby. A rainbow that shone like an emerald encircled the throne." Maybe that big green circle with two legs is even a throne!?? Haha! I stood in amazement over my daughter's spiritual gift, taking some credit for sharing simplified bible stories with her and telling her how much Jesus loved her. But never, ever had I gone as far as to suggest anything close to this.

I proudly texted my husband about it, and then my daughter explained her project to me. She spoke in an extremely nonchalant and matter-of-fact kind of way. Almost like saying, "Duh, Mom!" And then I realized... bigger than my proud mommy heart, bigger than any kind of "gift" my munchkin might possibly have, is my daughter's faith - her unshakable CHILDLIKE FAITH.

The beautiful story of Jesus and the little children goes like this - People were bringing their kids to sit with Jesus. Some told them to get away, but Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Then Jesus embraced and blessed them. (from Mark 10:14-16)

Jesus was suggesting that we must believe in Him like children believe - with wonder, excitement, and full-blown trust. Not like adults full with reason, pride, and suspicion. Believe with a childlike faith and when the question arises "But how do you know it's true?" you can respond like my little girl and simply think to yourself, "Duh!"  :)

Hard-hitting Miracles

 A year ago this week, my brother had a terrible accident. He fell off of a railing about 20 feet high and landed face first onto the cement below. He ended up with 3 skull fractures, 2 broken wrists, facial nerve damage, auditory nerve damage, and displaced bones in his eardrum. He is now permanently deaf in one ear, but amazingly, he is alive! (not to mention back on the volleyball court)

The doctors were amazed that he was as well as he was. One mentioned that a certain fracture in his skull was horizontal, but had it cracked vertically, his fall most likely would have had a fatal result. A horizontal fracture vs a vertical one - really?  I've only told my husband and a spiritual friend of mine this before, maybe because I was embarrassed or maybe because I felt guilty. But the night before my brother fell, I prayed for him by name for the first time in my life. I prayed, "God, I pray for my brother. Do whatever you need to do to reach him." I got a break-of-dawn panicked phone call after the accident, but it wasn't until hours later that I remembered that prayer. I broke into uncontrollable sobs for hours and hours, not knowing what to make of it. But I know now my God is still able and works miracles everyday. I have no doubt.

Sometimes, however, God throws us a hard-hitting miracle. I like to think of them as a slap-in-the-face from God, but a slap filled with a whole lotta love. Sometimes God speaks to us in a still, small voice, but other times a loud, life-altering wake-up call occurs. My husband and myself are so thankful that we each received a divine, personal smack across the face in life which shifted our priorities, put everything in a new perspective, and allowed amazing new blessings to flow down. "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.  Here I am! I stand at the door and knock," says God in Revelation 3:19-20. But in even simpler terms, I imagine God saying  "I only correct you and get on you because I love you! So now, wake up and change direction. I've been trying to get to you for awhile now. But this is the only way I could reach you!" And I thank God for His persistence, even if it comes down to a hard-hitting miracle.

I know my brother's accident reopened my eyes to God's amazing power still at work. I know my brother has a new appreciation for his life, family, and relationships. I know big blessings followed for him. And I know it took a big fall for my family to strongly stand up together again, but a year later we can stand entirely grateful.

  Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.
      Let the whole world know what he has done.
  Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.
      Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.
  Exult in his holy name;
      rejoice, you who worship the Lord.
 Search for the Lord and for his strength;
      continually seek him.
  Remember the wonders he has performed,
      his miracles, and the rulings he has given.
                                                                  


Psalm 105 is what I intend to do by writing this and what I pray I can do for the rest of my days - thank God, remember what He has done, and tell everyone I know about it! Reflecting on almost losing my brother this week also brought to mind for me how close everyone of us are to disaster. And while it may be uncomfortable or seem pushy at times, the message of the Gospel is an urgent message. Paul says in Romans 13:11-12 "This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here."  Again, God is pleading with you, "Wake up! Here I am! Don't wait!"


I read a really thought-provoking story recently that stuck with me intensely. Listen to this piece of history:

On Sunday, October 8, 1871, a Reverend named D.L. Moody preached a Gospel message in Chicago. When he finished, he told the congregation to go home and think about what he said about the gospel, then come back tomorrow to tell him what they decided about whether or not to follow the Lord.

Perhaps a big decision such as that requires some time to sleep on it. But less than an hour later, a huge blaze begun downtown. Before midnight, the fire managed to jump the river and soon the entire district where Moody was preaching was in flames. Before the morning came, the Great Chicago Fire had destroyed over 100,000 homes and left hundreds dead, many of whom had just heard Moody's message. By not responding to God's invitation the moment they heard it, it was soon too late for a decision. Moody and his ministry was forever changed. "From now on, every chance I get I will urge upon people a decision today to turn from sin and leave it behind to follow God's Word. Today if you hear His Voice, don't harden your heart," Moody said. The book of Hebrews gives the same advice. And I pray this for everyone out there:

Today, if you hear His Voice, don't harden your heart. He's standing at the door and knocking waiting for you to open it.

Thank God for those big, hard knocks.

24/7 thanksgiving

This morning I was woken up with little fingers being jabbed into my eyeballs. Then I dropped a freshly poured mug of coffee across the kitchen floor. Some mornings it just doesn't come very naturally to declare "this is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." It's more like, "Ugh, this again. I'll hang in and hope it goes by quickly."

But during this Thanksgiving, let's attempt to get back to the root of the word itself. Here's Merriam-Webster definitions of thanksgiving:

 

: the act of giving thanks

: a prayer expressing gratitude

: a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness 

The word "thanksgiving" does not refer to a "feeling of thankfulness" or " the emotion of gratefulness". Thanksgiving is not merely realizing that you are thankful, but instead is acting upon it. An act, a prayer, a public acknowledgment or celebration that thanks the hand that blessed you. And true thanksgiving gives God all the credit. The Bible actually discusses the word "thanksgiving" some 30 times; it's all about expressing thanks and acknowledging that all you have been given if a gift of love from Love Himself. 

Gratitude is an attitude, but also a choice - a choice not based on emotion, feeling or even circumstance! God desires thanksgiving all the time, but not for His sake. As much as it pleases Him, He doesn't need our praises. This divine suggestion is for our own sake: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Like I said before, sometimes (OK, most of the time) it's easier to complain and focus on the negative than to live above that in a life of thanksgiving. But God knows a negative, ungrateful attitude puts us in a dangerous, miserable place and He does not want us to be there. That's why we must constantly make the choice of thanksgiving.

Growing up, my family said grace just once a year. We gave thanks to God on Thanksgiving Day and that was about the extent of our action-taking. But at least our annual thanksgiving was true thanksgiving. Even at a young age, I looked forward to that time every year (even if it was always filled with snickers and groans over the pages and pages of things my aunt just had to express thanks over - including but not limited to squirrels and birds). But I think I looked forward to that time because God designed us with hearts that thrive when we give thanks, not when we grumble over what we don't have.

Baileigh's TurkeyTato

Thankfully, God gave us beautiful examples in His Word of how to give Him true thanksgiving. The Psalms are filled with it. Writing your own Psalm of sorts is one active way to give thanks. Try writing one to God and reading it not only on Thanksgiving, but everyday, especially on the days when you don't feel like it. Read  Psalm 138 for some inspiration from David and spend time thanking the Creator of the Universe for everything He has done and given you - don't forget the squirrels!

"Strength" Training

So last night I went to the gym after dinner instead of my usual morning routine. It was amazing to me the difference in atmosphere. I think 9 a.m. is not too early and just early enough to have a solid, motivated workout. And there are always lots of people there around that time who seem lively and friendly. But this is not the case around 6 p.m. Everyone seemed straight angry and not one person talked. It was seriously miserable. I guess after a long day at work, going to the gym is less "fun". But after a long day with two little ones, I thought some time to myself sounded good. But once I got there, surrounded by silence and looking out the window to a pitch black scene, the last thing I felt like doing was getting a good sweat. I actually managed to leave there without a single drop on me as a matter of fact. And I never intend to return for another sad, dark, cold, somber night workout again.

But... if I absolutely had to, I'm sure I could. Whenever I feel like I can't push myself any harder, I often remember a dear friend of mine who used to take my fitness class in New York. She would reluctantly take a spot in the back corner of my class and wait for me to hand out the tortuous little resistance bands. Then, mid-exercise she would yell out with her powerful, Black voice, "Oooh, help me Jesus!" It always made me laugh, but I know she was more than serious. She was looking for some divine help to get her through when she was at the point of giving up. And amazingly enough, that is a promise we are given from God.

Philippians 4:13 assures us we are able to do all things through Christ who gives us strength. Whether it's what keeps you going at the gym or what pushes you out of bed in the morning... who or what is your source of strength? I know late-night workouts aren't for me (yes, 6 p.m. now equals "late-night" in my world), but I also know I have a source of strength that I can count on any hour of the day. A never-ending energy drink that pushes me forward when I need it.

Next time you reach your breaking point, try taking a lesson from my old friend:

bellow a big "help me, Jesus!" and let Him show you that He can. :)

" But you, LORD, do not be far from me. 

   You are my strength; come quickly to help me."

  ~Psalm 22:19

Booing Jesus

 Christianity sucks. 

Says who? Close to 97 percent of my generation does!

I have heard and read this statistic multiple times - just 3 percent of America's young people have a positive view of Christianity/Jesus. This is a pretty startling and upsetting statistic for me to see about my own generation, but I get it. There are all sorts of explanations for why the youth of America has decided to boo Jesus, but unfortunately, it mostly comes down to the fact that society equates Christians with Christianity.

Every human being, Christians very much included, struggle with a constant battle of choosing good or evil, grace or judgement, love or hatred every day. Again, Christians are not an exception here, but the good news is we have a lifeline. The lifeline is Jesus - who is overflowing with goodness, grace, and love. And the key to overcoming the struggle is to lean on Him to pull you out.

Now society anticipates that Christians should act like Jesus, represent His brand, be a walking billboard, and the like. "That guy says he follows Jesus, and he just did that?! Then I don't like him or this Jesus guy he follows." I can imagine thousands of variations of that idea in an attempt to justify a negative view of Christianity/Jesus. But society must see the reality that Christians are not perfect, nor should we ever claim to be, but Jesus was! (And still is.)

Don't get me wrong, this is not to give Christians a free pass to make a mess of things. I think a huge problem with Christians ( I put myself in this category too), is that the God we KNOW is not always the God we SHOW. We know we are only able to claim the title of being "Christians" through God's forgiveness, love, and kindness. He has extended such goodness to us, that the least we can do is share it with others, but we don't always succeed in doing that. It is far too easy to stay within our comfortable church walls sometimes, letting society only see/hear about what some Christians are up to on the news. And as a journalism student, I know a producer will happily choose a corrupt, pin- him-as-a-hypocrite type story over some amazing act of goodwill or mercy that occurred that day. Yet as Christians, we have the ability to overcome these negative views by living out a radical, Jesus kind of love-filled life. And as a society, we refrain from holding Christians to an impossible standard of perfection.

Paul, who wrote the majority of the New Testament, admits he is far from perfect, and yet that didn't stop him from being perhaps the all-time best spreader of Christianity.

He says, "I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Jesus Christ, is calling us." (Phillipians 3: 12-14)


As a fellow sinner and spreader of the Good News, I similarly declare, " I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but that doesn't stop me from striving to live more like Jesus. I have completely let go of my past, because God let go of it first. And now I can look to my future, here on earth and in heaven, with the confidence that I am forgiven and loved."


Christians aren't perfect - but Jesus is. We can try to be advertisements for Him, but we can only do so much, especially if people can't see past our imperfections. Still, we should strive daily to let the God we know be the God we show to the world. But in the end, the best spokesperson for Jesus is Jesus himself and you'll only find the real truth about Him in His Word (the Bible). So maybe my generation just needs to do some good old reading and less news watching, but in the meantime, I'll keep doing what I can to share the Truth and pray that society stops booing Jesus, because no matter what you do, He will never boo you.


"... my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God." (Acts 20:24)

TMI

So the other night I caught my 3 year old daughter in the bathtub with cups suctioned to her chest. When I asked what on earth she was doing she said, "I'm pumpin my milk!" Lol 
I try to ask for privacy when I'm doing things like that, but it never works and obviously my little girl catches onto things quickly; the trouble is she likes to share her discoveries.

Ever since we brought home her little brother she has been very curious and filled with questions about the whole boy vs. girl thing. And since she is always over my shoulder, she couldn't help but make some obvious observations. So I explained as briefly as I could the difference between boys and girls. Of course I didn't use technical terms because my parenting style is the "I can't handle that yet" kind. (See Potty Talk post) But now my daughter loves to point out which of her classmates, adult friends, family members, random animals, etc. are what. I forgot to tell her that these kinds of topics should generally stay inside our house though.

Which leads us to a couple weeks ago at her preschool when the assistant teacher came out to tell me what happened. They were discussing the similarities and differences between pumpkins and apples.
Similarities like: they are both round, both make pies, both have seeds. Differences: One is orange and the other red or green, one grows on the ground and the other on trees.....


As they sat around in a circle the teacher then asked, "Can anyone else think of any other differences?"

My little girl proudly raised her hand and said, "Boys have wee-wees and girls have -"

"Oook," the teacher interrupted her and quickly diverted the little ones attentions to something else before anything got out of hand.


Well, at least my daughter understood my scholarly explanation of differences. I'll just remember to add a "don't talk about this at school" disclaimer to our next little birds and bees talk! :)

When living by faith IS living by sight

We live in a world that loves clear cut answers - a constant test filled with multiple choice, fill in the blank, and true or false. But very little open-ended. We are in an age of constant communication and immediate answers. An undetermined 5-year-plan or a lack of a quick fix for a big problem is unacceptable. Not knowing makes our society extremely uncomfortable.

Faith, however, requires an acceptance of that which is still left unclear and a trust that God will do the answering for you. Hebrews 11:1 defines it this way: "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."  Other translations substitute those bolded words for words like: sure, certain, the convictions, the firm foundation, the substance, the evidence, the confirmation, the title deed, the proof! I love that - those are some seriously strong words we are talking about here. So faith is not just a wishy-washy, sparkly kind of hope that things will turn out alright - it is being certain that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). Faith is also not merely believing that God does exist. James pretty humorously gets rid of that misconception by saying "You say you have faith, for you believe that there is one God. Good for you! Even the demons believe this, and they tremble in terror."  (James 2:19)  What matters to obtain faith is not necessarily believing, of course that's an important starting point, but the substance of faith is trusting and depending on who you believe in.

One of the reasons why I can personally and completely trust God with my life, especially when it comes to a crossroad, is because I've seen Him work great things in the past. I know it will happen because I've seen it happen before - God has a reputation.

(*The following is not an uplifting example for us Philly fans, I know and apologize)  Let's talk odds.. you would probably put some money on the Yankees winning another World Series down the line because it has happened a couple dozen times in the past. That's faith in the Yankees because of evidence, statistics, proof - not a wishy-washy hope that they just might win one day. Faith in God works in the same way; not just in my life, not just in this generation or this century... but for thousands and thousands of years, people have put their faith in God and He has rewarded that.

As my little family comes to another crossroads, it's often difficult for people to hear that we have no idea what we are going to do. Not that we don't think over our options, we do. But we leave the details to God. We roll with what He throws at us and pray that we can continue to lean on Him for guidance. We are trusting that we will see His hand at work in our lives because we have seen it before, and often the result is 10x better than anything we could come up with on our own.

When I was broken on a dirty, dorm room floor - I trusted. When I was betrayed and left alone - He stayed right next to me. When I was overwhelmed - He took my burdens. When we left all our family and friends and moved away - He blessed our life abundantly. When we weren't sure if we could make it that month - He provided ALL of our needs. Faith has taken me from where I was going to where God knew I could be. God is faithful, and faith is trusting in a God you know is entirely able. 

COM 101 - Intro to Prayer

Isn't it absolutely insane that the God of the universe actually cares enough about you that He specifically told you to bring your needs to Him? Sometimes it blows my mind and other times I think, "Well, of course that makes sense." As a mom, the one who gave birth to my children, I could only hope that they would come to me in times of need. Just the same, the One who created you desires that you bring your little and big concerns before Him, so that they can shrink in His powerful presence.

 It's not so much an attitude of "Don't worry, be happy". 

But instead, God says, "Don't worry, talk to Me about it."

Phillippians 4:6 says plain and simply, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." 

EVERYTHING. Nothing is too little or too big for Him to handle. He WANTS you to bring it to Him. 

The verse goes on to say, "Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." 

When you thank God and ask God, He will bring you peace. This peace comes from relationship with Him and a relationship requires communication. When it comes to prayer, it is not selfish to put yourself first sometimes. He wants you to get insanely honest with Him, run to Him to celebrate your highs, and fall in complete desperation at His knees. He wants intimate conversation with and about you. If I remember anything from my COM degree it's the following definition that got pounded into our brains: communication is when a sender gives a message and a receiver hears the message and provides feedback. I drew a version of this model, much like the one below, on many exams (if not every flippin one!). But if we want relationship with our Creator there has to be communication (*medium = PRAYER).

Even though God knows your heart before you speak a word out of your mouth, He wants you to talk with Him about yourself, not just to be heard, but because He knows it will bring you peace. And also because He just wants to chat with you... you're His child and He wants to know what's up. Again, much like typical a parent. When we know something is wrong with our child's heart and maybe we may even already know the exact reason why, we still desire that they talk to us about it because 1) we care! 2) they'll feel better if they admit it out loud, and 3) we can most likely help them with it.

Likewise... God definitely cares enough, He told us prayer gives us peace beyond understanding, and God (unlike us) is most definitely equipped to do something about it! So go ahead... He already gave you His Message, now give Him some feedback. Chat it up. He's waiting for your call.

YUMMO

A couple weeks ago, I went to NYC to see a taping of the Rachael Ray Show with a friend and our mothers. My friend put in for tickets almost a year ago and thought of me, a food-lover, to go with her. So after going back and forth awhile about whether I could still pull off a spontaneous day in the city as a mom of two, I decided to go for it. Of course I had to pump like a cow for a couple days to make this happen, but I'm glad I did. Every now and then it's nice to reward yourself with something you normally would say "no way" to.

Well, we managed to get front row, VIP status on the show; I think the producers knew the back of our heads would look good on camera lol. In the kitchen that day Rachael made a breakfast tower of gooey, goodness. First, toasted garlic bread soaked in ripe, tomato juice. Then a layer of cheesy, mashed potatoes on the bread. A fried egg laid over the potatoes. And that was topped with some ribbons of fancy ham. Don't worry though... she put a grapefruit on the plate too. haha  In the front row, I was practically drooling waiting for Rachael to offer her free laborers, I mean studio audience, a taste. She didn't.

The next week, the show aired while I was working at the gym. I put my client on the treadmill in front of the flatscreen so we could try to spot me in the audience. When Rach started compiling her breakfast of champions, the guy on the treadmill next to us yelled, "Heart attack!" at the TV.  Sure, he had a point... but I like I said before - every now and then it's nice to reward yourself with something you would normally say "no way" to. After all, your kids will survive one day without you and your heart will not stop with an occasional splurge.

As you know, hot fudge sundaes are among my favorite things.  But since I'm not pregnant anymore, my guilty pleasure is reduced to a small, not large dish and more like bi-weekly instead of multiple times a week  :) But I still can see the upside in treating yourself. I shared a "Guilty Pleasure Recipe" called 14 Layer Bars in the Discussion tab. It's just what it sounds like - 14 sweet layers stacked on top of each other and baked together.

Add a recipe you would 9 times out of 10 say no way to! Let's see how guilty this can get.  Lol

Love = You > Me

1 Corinthians 13... "The Love Poem" we've all heard at least in a romantic comedy, if not at 9 out of 10 church weddings. I have to admit we used it at ours too, but first I went to our pastor and said, "Do you think 1 Corinthians 13 is too overdone?" Like it was a once-catchy, now-dreaded song on the radio or something (i.e. - my daughter's favorite "I Gotta Feeling") But he simply said, "I don't think scripture can ever be overdone."

And just this week I heard the chapter once again, but heard it in a much more personal, practical, and applicable way. The first line says, "If I speak in the languages of men or of angels, but do not have LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or clanging symbol." In other words, even if I am able to make a clear, articulate message, but am not combining it with love, it's just a bunch of noise! I quickly thought of this blog. Amazingly, my little informal blog that I started to keep my long-distance family in the loop has been read by people across the world!? People in places like Russia, Germany, and even Cambodia have come across this page, but even more amazingly God's message has reached old classmates, fellow moms, and doubting family members and friends. I've somehow managed to articulate myself in a way that is clear enough for people to understand... and that is GOOD, but where is the love? (oh no, not more Black Eyed Peas  lol)

Paul said it... without LOVE this blog (and anything else) is a bunch of noisy nothing. And according to Jesus, sincere love, God-like love, is putting YOU before ME or choosing to put others needs ahead of your own. But how can a dinky blog do that? How can I add a LOVE button? "Take time to pray for and listen to those reading what you have to say," is what came to me. How simple! But how do I do that with a medium that is usually used to talk about me, Me, ME. Thankfully, I have a tech-savy hubby who actually made this happen!

So... you'll notice there is a Prayer/Discussion tab and a Chat tab at the top of the site now. You can add prayer requests (general, specific, little, big, anonymous, etc) that I pledge to put serious time aside for. And other readers can also pray for you and your need or praise with you in your victory. We can also have open discussions about faith, fitness, and food (my favs). Or, if you'd like to personally talk to me with a request, comment, question, encouraging word :)  then you can do that with the Chat with Mumby tab, which only I can see. So hopefully this can be not only an outlet for me and my thoughts, but also a personal place of encouragement and LOVE for you!

No excuses

So tomorrow puts me at 6 weeks postpartum, which all moms know really just means no more excuses in bed or at the gym! ;) At this point, your body is recovered enough to start returning to your regular activities. I got back to the gym a little earlier though with the intentions of just training a client, but I ended up feeling a little guilty leaving the gym without a single drop of sweat on me, so naturally I started exercising a bit again - VERY SLOWLY.

I'm very proud to say that I happen to have a good friend with an Olympic Gold Medal in weightlifting. I'd mention her name, but she is extremely modest.  

Tara Cunningham (Nott)-check out YouTube video SYDNEY 2000

Oooops! :)   Anyway, Tara offered to give me a technique tutorial on power lifting 5 weeks after I had a baby and still about 20 lbs over my pre-prego weight. I was pretty excited and felt fairly confident. I mean I do teach fitness classes and have been exercising (under the orders of my mother) for as long as I can remember. Yet it turns out doing reps with 10 lb dumbbells is NOT the same as squatting to the floor with a 50 lb bar on your chest (haven't even gotten to the actual lifting stage yet! lol) So after showing me a few basic techniques, she had me flip the bar while squatting as low as I could to the floor.

Well I made it down there... but then stayed down there! With the bar on my chest in an owl-like perch, I got stuck and then slowly fell backwards onto my butt with my legs up in the air and the bar on top of me. It probably looked like a mix between humpty-dumpty and a dead bird falling out of a tree. My core seems to be nonexistent at the moment and I am by no means good at this. But hopefully the doctor will give me the go-ahead this week and I'll be all in, back at the gym with no excuse but to try, try again.

Right on time

I've learned first-hand that God does not always answer when we want Him to or even beg Him to, but He is always, ALWAYS on time. Sometimes He makes you wait until the very last minute to test your faith or until you get your heart in the right place, but we serve a God who can be counted on to show up BIG TIME and ON TIME. And we should wait on that expectantly. 

I was due to have my son August 19 and because I was going to attempt a VBAC (Vaginal birth after a Cesarean), the doctors gave me 10 days to go into labor on my own. If I went past that, I would be forced to have a C-section on August 30. So the 19th came and went, along with several other endless days. From the beginning, I really felt that the whole VBAC thing was what God wanted for me, my husband, and my baby. So a few days before I was scheduled to have my C-section I completely broke down. I was getting impatient and frustrated. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy and even anger. "Why can't my body labor and deliver a child?" "I'll never experience giving birth the way God intended it to be!"

Now that's not to say God doesn't use C-sections for good things... my daughter most likely would not have survived if it wasn't for that surgery. I, born a C-section as well, could say the same for myself and countless other people also. But this was personal now.. between God and I. A promise of sorts I had expected Him to keep. But just two days before surgery, I wiped up the tears of disappointment and began accepting God's will for myself and for my baby - no matter what that looked like. Well that Sunday morning on my way to church I slipped down my porch steps in the rain. I ended up in the hospital that morning instead of church to make sure baby was ok. Everything ended up being just fine.. but no signs of labor. That night I went to a small church service since I had missed that morning and really felt like I needed to be still and quiet with the Lord. The pastor, whom I had never met before, saw that I was clearly very pregnant and prayed with me. "Bring this baby tonight," he said. "Can you do that, Lord?" I was almost annoyed by it because at that point I was done asking for that and honestly maybe I wasn't sure if He COULD do that anymore. But sure enough, the next morning brought about some serious contractions. I was almost in disbelief when I started looking at the clock and realized they were coming 3 minutes apart. I managed to shave 1/4 of my legs and then we headed to the hospital!

After 18 hours of laboring in the hospital, my son was born (vaginally!) at 5:03 a.m. August 30. My C-section would have been scheduled for 5:45 a.m. that day. With just 42 minutes to spare, he was born right on time, according to God's timing - not mine.

Jesus was born at just the right time - and so were you.

"But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman.. " (Galatians 4:4)

Jesus died at just the right time - and so will you. 

"When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners." (Romans 5:6)

It's not your job to worry about His timing or try to figure it out for yourself.

“The Father alone has the authority to set those dates and times, and they are not for you to know." (Acts 1:7)

But God always hears you and shows up... 

right on time. 

“At just the right time, I will respond to you." -God (Isaiah 49:8)

Waiting

So my family went away on a two-part, 14 day vacation while I was 37 weeks pregnant. I had it in my head for months, that as long as the baby and I can just hang in there until we got home from our trip, then everything would be fine and his arrival would be just around the corner. Well this "corner" is turning out to be a lot longer than it was in my head. I remember feeling this way with my daughter too, certain that another day just couldn't possibly go by without her coming... but it did, again and again.

I'm due in just a few days and last week the doctor told me I was starting to dilate. Finally.. some encouraging news, but of course it added to my anxiousness. I can't stop obsessing over it; I went for walks, swims, did squats til my thighs ached, tried some acupressure, and ate spicy food for two days straight. I had some contractions and a few signs that things were moving along, but no baby! I was frustrated... but at who? Myself? My baby? God?? Then, after a random storm led me and my daughter to Chik-fil-a instead of the pool,  I had a mini-revelation. While eating my  Classic Spicy Chicken Sandwich, a Christian song came on with these simple words... "while I'm waiting, I will praise You, while I'm waiting".

How many times, Lord, have I made the choice to praise you in the midst of waiting. Waiting not necessarily knowing the outcome. Waiting when there is nothing at all left to do. Waiting with great expectation. Waiting, waiting, waiting. And then when God finally reveals what He's been working on, I forget about all the waiting because it was so incredibly worth it. And that's exactly how it works with a baby, too. 

Psalm 40 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord, he turned to me and heard my cry." David waited patiently knowing he would be heard and delivered. Isiah 66:9 quotes God asking us, "Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?" Literally I hear, "Hey Michelle, do you think God really blessed you with this child, brought you safely to full-term, and then is just gonna leave him in there? Come on." Or in other words, does God bring us through and then not show up? Of course not, He promised He would never leave or forsake us! And aren't we waiting as Christians every single day for another huge promise God has given us - the return of His Son. "Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near." (James 5:7-8) 

I'm trying to pick my crops before they are even ripe. I'm counting on my time, not the Lord's. But how humbling is something like waiting for a baby to remind you that you are not in charge, and if you can learn to wait patiently with a thankful heart instead of attempting to control and figure things out on your own, life will be a lot easier and God can do His job. So swallow your pride with me and praise Him WHILE you're WAITING.

Hurt and Healing

Our Pastor once asked a bold question that stuck with me firmly, "How much do you have to HATE someone to not share the Truth with them?" Immediately, I realized I did "hate" someone that much. Even though I had worked long and hard for years on forgiving the person, I still admitted to my husband that if I happened to see that person tomorrow in heaven I would be straight pissed.

When someone hurts us, we make the choice to ignore/bury the pain, to let our emotions run rampant, or to face the pain and forgive the offender. When someone hurts us, we are then on a continual path; you are the one who decides if that path is called bitterness or forgiveness. I attempted the path toward forgiveness from the beginning, but I didn't realize until the "how much do you have to hate someone" question was posed that I had always been subconsciously relieved that the individual did not know the Lord. I, on the other hand, had the Lord on my side. I was protected, I was loved, I was brought through.  And during this I did choose to forgive, I did pray for this person, and I did ask the Lord to bless the person (and I continue to). YET one morning right before Holy Week I came to the clear realization that I had never (not once) prayed for this person's SALVATION. And frankly I didn't want to. But God said to me, "Jesus died for him, too." Though uncomfortable at first, I was able to face that truth and have been focusing on it since. And I know I still have a ways to go.


Even though you forgive someone and realize God forgives them too, it doesn't erase the hurt. The damage has been done and you can't take your broken soul back to the store and return it for a new one. But God can renew and store it with you. He can bind your wounds over time. He forgives you and encourage you to pass that same incomprehensible mercy onto others.

This week my prayer is that I will always be able to release those who have hurt me over to Him. And that the wounds of my past would be completely healed so that I can thoroughly rejoice in today.

Staying Grounded When Moving

Last week our little family moved from an older townhouse apartment to a renovated little rancher just 15 minutes down the road. We were looking for a place with a bit more room for our little guy who should be here in about 2 months. It's the third time we've moved together as a family in less than 3 years and moving always comes with some anxiety and stress. We thought since we still have the lease to our old place and since the new place is so close, we wouldn't have to hurry or worry too much. But the back and forth and half in - half out and little expenses all over brought about its own kind of stress.

My husband and I were pretty calm during the actual move day (thanks to lots of help), but a few days in we almost killed each other. Not with any physical whacking, but with words and attitudes that we had not seen in each other for a long, long time. We might have even thought we conquered those ways and we're strong enough not to go back there again. But our pride likes to play with us like that. It amazed me how easy it was for both of us to go back to a wordly, emotion-driven, and downright evil relationship pattern - even if it did just last a few hours. We were wrapped up in our stresses and our fears, and out of the Word and the Spirit. It's a place we have both been before and just looking back there made us realize just how much we hate it.

Thankfully, we have seen the abundant life filled with wisdom and strength and glory and love first hand and we also know the only way to stay in it is to remain in the Lord, Jesus Christ. My hubby shared this Word with me (that happened to be emailed to him the morning after our freakout) and it is now magnetized onto our brand-new fridge so that we can be reminded constantly of how God calls us to treat each other, regardless of stressful circumstances.

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." -Ephesians 4:2

Who Am I?

Perhaps one of the biggest questions of all time asked by human beings is "Who am I?"  Insecurities fill our mind such as why am I here and do I really have a purpose? We can fill the question with all sorts of silly answers that sound good to us or we can stress over not having an answer to them at all OR we can choose to know that the question has already been answered for us... not by some self-help book or even by the beloved Oprah, but instead by the Creator of the Universe. God says plenty in His Word about who you are, specifically who you are because of His Son Jesus Christ. And since God created you,  I think He definitely has the authority to answer the question. Here is a handy, compiled list of who God says you are and what you have in Jesus, just in case you wake up some mornings questioning it all.

IN CHRIST I AM...

• complete
• free
• holy
• chosen
• without blame
• forgiven of ALL my sins
• delivered
• redeemed
• born again
• healed
• greatly loved
• strengthened
• more than a conqueror 
• an overcomer
• an ambassador
• not my own
• God's workmanship
• a joint-heir with Christ
• a temple of the Holy Spirit
• a doer of the Word of God
• the voice of His praise

I HAVE...

• the mind of Christ
• the peace of God
• God living in me
• received the power of the Holy Spirit
• put off the old me and put on the new me
• no lack
• a shield of faith
• a spirit of power and love
• a sound mind

All of these assuring answers about who God says you are are clearly stated in His Word.. pick a few to remind yourself of everyday. Maybe even put a note on your mirror with the ones that resonate with you or you need to remember the most. If you want to know where in the Bible to find any of these, ask me and I'll gladly get the actual verse for you. Someone once told me that what we say is least important, what we do is of great importance, but who we are is of the utmost importance. Remember who you are.

Mid-Pregnancy Crisis

According to some of my pregnancy books, I'm officially into my third trimester today. That means I've got about 6 months down, but still over 3 months to go! And lately, especially in the last couple of weeks, I've been getting comments about my growing belly from strangers that make me want to flat punch them out. LOL Some examples? 

Cashier at the grocery store says, "When are you due, looks like any day now." Um.. try August!

Hairdresser at salon says, "Aw.. are you getting your haircut for the delivery?" Nope. 

You know...I've actually been pretty proud of myself too for keeping my weight gain steady and under control (unlike last time!) and exercising almost daily. But I'll admit my belly is pretty popped out there. 

I have a friend who is due about 3 weeks from now and people keep asking if we are due around the same time!  UGH. Her belly is clearly smaller than mine. You have to look closely to even tell she's expecting and she could go into labor any day now! But my husband lovingly calms my comparing worries by telling me, "She's over 6 foot tall, I bet the baby is standing up in there." And when I came home with my "pre-delivery haircut" the other night in complete distress over all this, he took out the camera and actually had me pose just to prove to me I still look beautiful! (Did I mention I love him??) 

While I can try to shake off most comments, the physical toll of this protruding belly isn't letting me ignore some of the truth behind them. I decided for Mother's Day this year I wanted to hike to the top of Mount Nittany with my family. It's an easy trail that takes under 2 hours and has beautiful views of Happy Valley. But yesterday I couldn't even make it up the hill to our driveway. I was huffing and puffing and about to fall over. There goes my beautiful Mother's Day dream! Lol 

Maybe now that I'm in my last trimester I will be able to handle the comments and waddling and fainting symptoms a little easier.. and no matter what I just need to remember that there is a handsome, healthy baby in there right now and there is nothing to stress over about that!

Hard-Boiled Hubby

Ever since we dyed Easter eggs this weekend, my husband has been on a hard-boiled egg kick. He's like Rocky in the morning putting back a few at a time. Well now that we've run out of pink and blue decorated ones, he has taken to the kitchen to keep his egg routine on track.

You would think "hard-boiled eggs" possess a pretty self-explanatory name for how to make them, but not for my hubby wubby. He has asked about 36 questions in just the last hour of how to accomplish a hard-boiled egg. Some include:

"Babe... is this enough water? No really, look."

"Does boiling technically start when you see bubbles or when its like rolling?"

"Is it better to leave it in too long or not long enough?"

"How can tell if it has been successful?"


Lol... he just caught me writing those after asking the last question, claiming it isn't a bad question because I didn't have a good answer. Let me also say that his Droid has had a running clock taking up the entire screen for the last 20 minutes. Actually...longer than that because he learned he'd have to wait to start timing til the boiling begun. So he had to reset. Lol  I was in such a irritated mood just from watching him be so crazy about boiling an egg... but writing this down and letting him see for himself how ridiculous and meticulous and borderline OCD he is sometimes makes me laugh soo much.  Haha 

I guess the answer to his last question will be answered tomorrow morning at breakfast :)

Palm Serveday

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, BUT TO SERVE, and to give his life as a ransom for many."  - Mark 10:45

 This entire weekend our church "shut down" forcing its congregation to serve God outside of the comforts of church and sending the message that Jesus came to serve everyone, and so should we. Well I have to admit, I was pretty disappointed that I wouldn't be celebrating my favorite "holiday" in my usual way. Since I became I Christian, I've always loved Palm Sunday. There's something exciting about getting a palm branch and waiting the whole service to finally wave it around in the air dancing and shouting, "Hosanna! Hosanna to the King!" And on such an important/entertaining holiday I could usually convince my family to come along and would wack my brother over the head and tickle his ear with the palm  lol. 

But not only would I not be able to do that this year, but there would be no church services at all???

After I got over my initial disappointment, I let the message of this bold statement sink in. I was reminded that Jesus did not come to make fun traditions, He came to serve. He sacrificed all for me, and the least I can do is sacrifice some for Him and for others. He tells us that is the way to truly live - by loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength AND by loving your neighbor as yourself  (Luke 10:27).

Our church lives by the C-WoW philosophy... that is a Church Without Walls which strives to remember:

• A church is not a building; it is a people who have become the body of Christ. 

• Our goal is to become great servants of the Lord and of others.

• We are called to be a life-giving movement with a mission to serve.

So this Sunday as we remembered Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem my family was able to SERVE the community instead of secluding ourselves within the walls of our church surrounded by fellow believers and comfortable rituals.

"Hosanna" is the Hebrew for "please save us"; today I was saved of my selfishness by being forced to serve.

 

Happy Campers

For my husband and I, camping trips have usually been a time of peace, privacy, and renewal. Yet this last trip made us realize that may have just been a short-lived phase. Quiet bonding time is now swapped with slightly chaotic family time. We were pretty confident of our teamwork abilities and had gotten camping with a baby/toddler down to a science, but where did that little baby go?

Growing up, I never camped. I actually thought camping was more of an American legend that hardly existed anymore (kind of like cowboys lol). But my husband opened my eyes to very real existence of camping, and believe it or not I enjoyed it. But notice the past tense there because this last trip left us realizing things may be a changing. We should actually still be there as I'm writing this, but we are on the couch with the TV on instead. That mostly has to do with the cold rain forecast for tonight, but these issues didn't help our cause:

 
• Our site was a good quarter-mile away from the nearest bathroom... keep in mind we have a newly potty trained girl and a 6-month prego in the group! 
• The site was laid over a rock foundation which Doug had to put tiny spikes into for the tent... let's just say there was a variety of mumbling profanities filling the forest for a while.
• The temp got down under 40 degrees at night and my husband (who likes to sleep in as little as possible and didn't let this trip stop him) was curled around my big belly (in the fetal position himself)  clinging to me for survival the entire night.
• Our morning breakfast made on a propane, tabletop stove consisted of "pancakes tar tar".
• The wood we bought (which was enough for the 3 day trip we planned) was wet, enough to be growing moss! Needless to say, we had more of a lovely smoke cloud than a cozy fire.
• Romantic, peaceful time for mommy and daddy did not exist anymore because staying put and napping in a tent without a caged-in bed was practically laughable for our not-so-little girl now. 
• And to top it off just perfectly... right as the car was almost packed and we calmly decided to leave a little early to beat the rain, I was forced to wash my hands and realized I left my wedding rings in a tiny, mesh pocket in the now completely broken-down, put away, and packed up tent. My options were to tell my hubby to unpack the tent again and just accept the freak out that would come of it or go a month or two pretending I'm single.. guess which one my husband picked for me. Haha

Honestly, it was a little discouraging that our perfected trips filled with quiet love, teamwork, and relaxation might be suspended for awhile. But I reminded myself and my hubby that we could have those days back eventually, we just gotta wait twenty some odd years. <3

Biggest Loser for Believers

I have a secret ritual to confess to that I have done every Tuesday night for over 5 years... I intently watch the Biggest Loser. My husband and my college roommates will tell you this usually involves me eating simultaneously. I guess something about watching people workout makes me want to get down with some food. As hungry as the show makes me, it's also undeniably inspirational.

These are people who have allowed themselves to be crippled, in the dark, and practically hopeless. Through miraculous transformation they are able to dance with a newfound hope that radiates throughout their bodies.

As a believer, the Biggest Loser reminds me of two truths:  

complete transformation is possible and your body is a temple. 

• "Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things.  But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." -Philippians 3:19  

 Contestants on the Biggest Loser have allowed their god to be their stomach and have landed in a shameful pit of destruction.  And it is so easy for anyone to get here! Maybe not necessarily with food, but with all sorts of earthly things that we obsess over (alcohol, money, drugs, sex, power, etc.) Only through Christ and His power in us can control over these things be accomplished and true transformation of our "lowly bodies"  occur.

• "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received  from God? You are not your own, you were bought at price. Therefore, honor God with you body." -1 Corinthians 6: 19-20

While Paul precedes this verse in reference to sexuality, the bottom line is your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit! How amazing is that?? And clearly the greatest way to dishonor your temple is to treat it like junk. Ignoring your body or feeding it with constant crap are certainly ways you can disrespect the temple of the Holy Spirit. The Lord lives in your body, don't you want it to be pleasing to him?

In the end, my obsession with weigh-ins, Bob & Jillian, challenges, and the like isn't as terrible as my husband's groaning each Tuesday implies. While I may enjoy some ice cream while viewing, The Biggest Loser does remind me of my own personal transformation and the sacredness of my temple.

Easter is...

I decided to take Baileigh to have breakfast with the "Easter Bunny" this morning, but before we went I attempted to explain to my sponge-minded daughter  that Easter isn't actually about a big rabbit at all. So with the help of an entertaining Veggie Tales movie we watched in our pjs this morning, I told her that Easter is about Jesus and God's love; the candy-filled eggs and the like are just a fun way to celebrate. 

She seemed to get it for a bit, and then got wrapped up in the show which was about a girl who wants to put on a spectacular easter musical featuring a giant robot bunny and an American Idol star in order to impress and inspire people. By the end, she is able to learn for herself how to truly serve people and what Easter is really about. It was a great little movie ending in a gospel tune that had Baileigh and I up dancing and clapping.

When the movie was over I turned to her and said, "So, Easter is really about....?" 

"ROBOT BUNNIES!"  

she said proudly with her arms thrown up in the air. 

Oh, well. Breakfast was good and I still have a few more weeks left I guess. :)

Cutting Weight vs. Putting Some On

So my husband is a wrestler... not Stone Cold Steve Austin style, but a real, full-time freestyle wrestler. The U.S. Open kicks off in Cleveland tomorrow. This is an awesome opportunity for my husband and I am so incredibly proud of his hard work, but with wrestling comes weight cutting.

Now I grew up in a wrestling family. I watched my brother wrestle from age 6 into high school, my dad and his brother both wrestled, and now my husband is at the highest competing level of the sport. I'm no stranger to it and I enjoy it. I even sympathize, schedule accordingly, and walk around on eggshells during competition weeks because my husband usually has to drop anywhere from 15 to 25 lbs. Any other time this is all fine for me ... BUT NOT WHEN I'M PREGNANT!

Before his last competition I was dying for a cookie or just something sweet, but we keep those temptations out of the house when its weight cutting time. So I gently told him I was craving something sweet and would go get it on my own and not eat it in front of him if he would just watch our daughter for a bit. He agreed and I thought to myself what a sweet, understanding, dehydrated husband I have ! <3

So I went to the grocery store bakery and found something beyond my greatest expectations... a soft chocolate chip cookie practically the size of my hand covered in vanilla frosting with sprinkles! Jackpot. The only downside was you could only buy them in packages of five... but I excitedly bought them anyway and retreated to my car where I downed one in the parking lot ( which btw can really make you feel like you have issues, but at least I can blame them on my husband).  So after getting back home I wiped off the crumbs from my jacket and tucked the rest of the package into the pantry. Well wouldn't you know, seconds later my husband spots them with his hawk eyes or hound nose or something and bursts into a fit.

"What is this?? You brought them into the house?!? There's like five of them here! You can't be bringing in five freakin cookies like this!"

"But babe, I said I wouldn't eat them in front of you and I'd get them myself. That was the deal," I said calmly.

"Frosting???? They have frosting!?! Well, now I'm gonna have to have one!" he yelled with sincerity.

Thankfully we all compromised by splitting one between him and my daughter, while I hide the package somewhere else.

But now it's a competition week again... and my husband is at "work" at 8 pm relieving himself of some lbs. Before he left I asked very nicely, "Would you be mad if I asked you to bring back some Rita's?" After all, I had to stay home with our daughter who is in bed and thought I'd give my craving a try.

Let's just say it ended with a bunch of question marks and exclamation points again. But before he walked out the door, I got the last word...

"I'm pregnant with your child, and you're just hungry!!"  

(By the way, I am so dead when he finally gets home tonight 

and reads this. I love you, babe!)