Seeking a Sponsor

This is about marriage. No, maybe more about divorce.

I hate divorce. Hate it and everything it stands for, no, against. Now hear me, because I'm not saying I hate people who are divorced or will be divorced.  As a mentor of mine always said, "Grace to you."...the same Grace that is to me. But divorce in itself, I hate.

Divorce is not patient, divorce is not kind. Divorce involves envy, it's boastful and proud. It dishonors many and is self-seeking. It's filled with anger, keeping a thorough record of wrongs.  Divorce delights in evil and disregards the truth. It never protects, never trusts, never hopes, and most certainly does not persevere. 

If that sounds familiar, it's because it's the opposite of what you hear at almost every wedding. The antonym of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. What love is not, divorce is. 

Pretty disturbingly to me, I've had multiple people, in just the last couple months, well-meaningfully say, "If Doug (my husband) were ever to start drinking again, I'd support you leaving him."

How disappointing. Support my leaving him? What about support my loving him? Who will help me love him if Lord forbid my beloved ever did fall back into addiction, darkness, despair? Who will pray with me for him, encourage him with me, and serve him with love in his ultimate "for worse"? Who will support me in that?

Because if you support my leaving him when he stumbles, then the enemy not only has a hold on him, but our marriage also. You'd be supporting the enemy, not me, not him, definitely not our marriage. And what if I were the one doing the stumbling? What then?

I need someone to hold our marriage accountable, no matter what comes our way. To remind us of 1 Corinthians 13 love. To shove our own vows in our face, our vows of forgiveness and prayerfulness. Someone who doesn't accept the lie of put the "me" before the "us". (Because that's not what I signed up for, that's not what I agreed to.) I made a deal, a promise, a covenant, and I need some back-up, a witness in that, to call me out, without fear of offense. I need a sponsor. That's who I need and that's what our marriage needs. And I'm hopeful you're already out there.

Don't just sit through weddings, post some pictures, and wish em well.
Sponsor a marriage.

What a Life

I had the most sound, peaceful sleep last night. Not that I didn't cry throughout the day yesterday, I did. I cried, prayed, yelled, even threw some things (not proud of that). But last night when I went to bed, a little early, even for me, it was easy to fall asleep and stay asleep, probably for the first time in months. My good friend has been struggling and fighting hard, but recently only life support was keeping him going. He passed yesterday afternoon. And please, I don't want to diminish in anyway what the Endicott family has been and is going through now, but I can only give my own experience.


And as for me, last night I didn't keep my phone on extra loud right by my ear checking every little buzz and light with fear. I didn't toss and turn thinking of the condition that my friend was struggling against. I didn't stare at the wall terrified of the anxieties that might have been consuming his thoughts. I didn't argue with God late into the night. At 9:30 pm, I said "Amen" and was thankful, even slightly joyful that my friend was with the Lord at last. Then I fell asleep.


 Drew's last words to me a couple months ago were, "I'm so proud of you michelle, what a life you must have."

I cried when he told me that, and I cry now and every time I read it. But I'm so thankful that my good friend left me with that encouragement. Some mornings, for no reason at all, I lay in bed until I absolutely can't anymore. Until the face poking and crying through the walls can't possibly continue or until my husband rips the sheets off of me and turns on every single light. But My God, what a life I have! First of all, I can get out of my bed and stand up on my two feet! Praise the Lord. Then I have two beautiful children who can't wait to see me every morning! Thank you, Jesus. And then I have a husband who stands as my earthly rock everyday. A husband who sends me gorgeous flowers on my birthday and who hurries home from work just to hold me while my mascara runs all over his shirt. Hallelujah. And I have my Savior, my Redeemer, my Counselor, my Fortress, my Father who loves me and walks with me every single day into eternity.

What a life I DO have! Thank you Drew for just reminding me.

I want to live out the days the Lord has given me with gladness. I truly want to live His will for my life; I can't do that if I cling to my sheets every morning. What about you.. what needs to come or go in order to live God's fullest plan for your life? Keep turning to Him and ask Him, He'll tell you and help you.
And remember what a life you have.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
    With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;    
     my body also will rest secure

                                                                                   ~Psalm 16:8-9


Rest in God's Peace, Drew. Thanks for being such a friend.

Living with a Sober Guy

With my husband's permission, I just want to celebrate an awesome milestone. He is 4 years sober today. While it may take away from the anonymity of it all, I just want to tell everyone!

I haven't always been this excited about it. I'll admit some of my first thoughts when we first started dating included "We'll never relax with a beer in the summer?" "We'll never share a glass of wine on a fancy date?" "We can't even drink champagne at our wedding!" But after 4 years of him living the sober life, I am beyond grateful. I know he would not be able to be the amazing husband and father that he is today with alcohol in his way, and I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything, even a beer. I also know he would not be celebrating this milestone if it weren't for his dependence on God, and without his addiction he wouldn't know that relationship as deep as he does. We are so grateful for God bringing us together as a couple at the same time we were brought to our breaking points; it forced the cornerstone of our relationship to be built on Christ. And because of that, we can both celebrate our past struggles because He brought us out on the other side... together!

The Bible says we all have our struggles and temptations in life, but God faithfully promises us this...

"He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13


Your situation may certainly be more than you can handle, but isn't that why we need Him? He doesn't promise you'll be able to handle anything on your own, but He promises He'll help you. He is the way out. With Him, you can overcome. We know that now and want to tell the world about it.


Congrats, babe! I praise God for these last 4 years and know that by His grace they will multiply and multiply. I love you. 

Hard-Boiled Hubby

Ever since we dyed Easter eggs this weekend, my husband has been on a hard-boiled egg kick. He's like Rocky in the morning putting back a few at a time. Well now that we've run out of pink and blue decorated ones, he has taken to the kitchen to keep his egg routine on track.

You would think "hard-boiled eggs" possess a pretty self-explanatory name for how to make them, but not for my hubby wubby. He has asked about 36 questions in just the last hour of how to accomplish a hard-boiled egg. Some include:

"Babe... is this enough water? No really, look."

"Does boiling technically start when you see bubbles or when its like rolling?"

"Is it better to leave it in too long or not long enough?"

"How can tell if it has been successful?"


Lol... he just caught me writing those after asking the last question, claiming it isn't a bad question because I didn't have a good answer. Let me also say that his Droid has had a running clock taking up the entire screen for the last 20 minutes. Actually...longer than that because he learned he'd have to wait to start timing til the boiling begun. So he had to reset. Lol  I was in such a irritated mood just from watching him be so crazy about boiling an egg... but writing this down and letting him see for himself how ridiculous and meticulous and borderline OCD he is sometimes makes me laugh soo much.  Haha 

I guess the answer to his last question will be answered tomorrow morning at breakfast :)