I had been ready to post another gushy gooey shout-out to my hubby last week. I was sick. Sick for days. High temp, low temp, sweats, chills. Better? Nope. Migraines, vomit, more vomit. It's that time of year after all, when the kids go back to school to collect armfuls of germs and bring them home to mommy. I'm much better now, but you have to understand the sick day policy at my job is less than ideal. There is none. Dishes need to be done, lunch bags packed, butts wiped, laundry folded, dinner on the table... but at 6 pm, after putting in his full day too, my hubby walks in the door, says my shift is over, and sends me straight to bed.
I don't know what happened next and I don't need to. All I know is I woke up the next morning having nearly 12 hours of sleep and this repeated for a few days in a row. I wouldn't have been able to recover without it. He was a hero and everyone needed to know! But then I thought, you know, what makes him this constant hero to me is not actually heroic at all. Because really, it's just a very simple keeping of his word.
He vowed to take care of me in times like this. He promised. Marriage is far from 50/50, we've heard, it's more like 90/10. He promised to put up a 90 when I could only muster a 10. And he did.
Last week, he just kept his promise.
But why is it still huge then, why does it stand out? Because maybe the world just isn't great at keeping a promise these days.
We've all been to plenty of weddings recently where the bride and groom have "prepared their own vows". This usually means the groom fumbles through his pockets, pulls out a little paper, and reads something along the lines of "I remember where we first met, I saw you and you were beautiful." The bride turns to her MOH and grabs her note, "I've dreamed of this day since I was a little girl..."
Pretty... but the word vow /vou/ noun means 1. a solemn promise.
Maybe promises being kept stand out because we hardly even attempt to make them in the first place. Instead we take a picture, tell a story, and everyone smiles. But solemn promises are to be exchanged, a holy contract is to be made.
This week, my husband merely executed his end of the contract. And as much as I want to dance and shout about him, why can't this be the expectation?
It's hard to watch marriages around you fall and crumble; it leaves an unintended mess for many. But when someone comes seeking marriage advice and starts speaking ideas of leaving or it'd be better this way or possibly even there might be someone else instead, my soft-speaking hubby boldly takes a stand and gives these words I might never, ever let leave my head.He asks, "What makes you think that is even an option?"
Our word, our promise, is still powerful, valuable, and upholdable. In marriage and more. A vow is solemn, dignified, respected. Don't deface your very own word and don't shy away from it. Proudly live under contract.
My hubby's not a hero; he's just good at keeping a promise.
