Hurt and Healing

Our Pastor once asked a bold question that stuck with me firmly, "How much do you have to HATE someone to not share the Truth with them?" Immediately, I realized I did "hate" someone that much. Even though I had worked long and hard for years on forgiving the person, I still admitted to my husband that if I happened to see that person tomorrow in heaven I would be straight pissed.

When someone hurts us, we make the choice to ignore/bury the pain, to let our emotions run rampant, or to face the pain and forgive the offender. When someone hurts us, we are then on a continual path; you are the one who decides if that path is called bitterness or forgiveness. I attempted the path toward forgiveness from the beginning, but I didn't realize until the "how much do you have to hate someone" question was posed that I had always been subconsciously relieved that the individual did not know the Lord. I, on the other hand, had the Lord on my side. I was protected, I was loved, I was brought through.  And during this I did choose to forgive, I did pray for this person, and I did ask the Lord to bless the person (and I continue to). YET one morning right before Holy Week I came to the clear realization that I had never (not once) prayed for this person's SALVATION. And frankly I didn't want to. But God said to me, "Jesus died for him, too." Though uncomfortable at first, I was able to face that truth and have been focusing on it since. And I know I still have a ways to go.


Even though you forgive someone and realize God forgives them too, it doesn't erase the hurt. The damage has been done and you can't take your broken soul back to the store and return it for a new one. But God can renew and store it with you. He can bind your wounds over time. He forgives you and encourage you to pass that same incomprehensible mercy onto others.

This week my prayer is that I will always be able to release those who have hurt me over to Him. And that the wounds of my past would be completely healed so that I can thoroughly rejoice in today.

Staying Grounded When Moving

Last week our little family moved from an older townhouse apartment to a renovated little rancher just 15 minutes down the road. We were looking for a place with a bit more room for our little guy who should be here in about 2 months. It's the third time we've moved together as a family in less than 3 years and moving always comes with some anxiety and stress. We thought since we still have the lease to our old place and since the new place is so close, we wouldn't have to hurry or worry too much. But the back and forth and half in - half out and little expenses all over brought about its own kind of stress.

My husband and I were pretty calm during the actual move day (thanks to lots of help), but a few days in we almost killed each other. Not with any physical whacking, but with words and attitudes that we had not seen in each other for a long, long time. We might have even thought we conquered those ways and we're strong enough not to go back there again. But our pride likes to play with us like that. It amazed me how easy it was for both of us to go back to a wordly, emotion-driven, and downright evil relationship pattern - even if it did just last a few hours. We were wrapped up in our stresses and our fears, and out of the Word and the Spirit. It's a place we have both been before and just looking back there made us realize just how much we hate it.

Thankfully, we have seen the abundant life filled with wisdom and strength and glory and love first hand and we also know the only way to stay in it is to remain in the Lord, Jesus Christ. My hubby shared this Word with me (that happened to be emailed to him the morning after our freakout) and it is now magnetized onto our brand-new fridge so that we can be reminded constantly of how God calls us to treat each other, regardless of stressful circumstances.

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." -Ephesians 4:2