Complaint dept

Yesterday, I almost lost it. Baileigh has been in a terrible routine of whining and complaining. Her sock is on backwards, waaaaaa! She can't turn the water on, uhhhhhhh! She can't clean up the whooooole playroom by herself! I've been trying to let her take on some more responsibilities herself, but her attempt around it is melting into complete distress. I asked her to clean her own face before we left for the store several times yesterday and when we got there, I opened the van door to see her still messy face and said, "Fine. You won't do it yourself? I'll do it for you." And I licked my fingers and smudged them all over her face. (I wonder where she gets her dramatics from? Ooops. LOL) Of course, she burst into hysterical tears while I tried to give her a lesson outside the grocery store about listening the first time and doing it without whining and complaining. An old man walked out of the store right in the middle of my finger-to-the-face disciplining and starting laughing at the top of his lungs! Finally, he got close to us and said to me (still laughing) "What did you do to her? Ahahahaha!" Great. There goes that attempt, I thought while giving him an akward, half-smile, half-areyoukiddingme kind of face.
           

But later that day, before bedtime, I suggested Dad read the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. "Really exaggerate the complaining," I whispered to him. So he did. She listened with attention and excitement. Initially, the Israelites sang a song of praise to God for all He had done for them. They were dancing, celebrating, and shouting thanks like, "Who is like you among the gods, O Lord—glorious in holiness, awesome in splendor, performing great wonders?" and "With your unfailing love you lead the people you have redeemed. In your might, you guide them to your sacred home." (Exodus 15: 11,13) But the thankful attitude didn't stick around for long. They quickly starting complaining. They were thirsty with no water, but when they finally came to an oasis in the dessert, they declared the water was too bitter to drink. After being of out Egypt for about a month, they really upped the whining. “If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. “There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.” (Exodus 16:3) Mind you, back in Egypt, they were slaves! Not to mention, God had just performed unimaginable miracles in order to free His people. But within weeks, they were throwing a pity party for themselves, with their thankfulness far behind them, nowhere to be found. They went from telling everyone that God is leading and guiding them with His unfailing love, to asking Moses with attitude and testing God saying, "Is the Lord with us here or not?" (Exodus 17:7)

After reading the story, Doug asked Baileigh what's been going on. She said softly, "Well, Mom's not helping me with anything."
He said to her, "Did you eat today?"
"Yea."
"Mom made all of it.  Did you wear clothes today?"
"Yea."
"Mom made sure they were clean for you.  Do you have a made bed to sleep in tonight?"
"Yea."
"Mom puts it back together for you."

She got the point. She was so stuck on what she wasn't getting, that she had lost all gratefulness for what Mom had done and is still doing for her. Same with the Israelites toward God. Same with all of us toward God. How many times do we grumble and complain against Him? I know how it feels as a mom; how do you think it makes our Heavenly Father feel? Is your complaint department overflowing with quick remarks "Are you even here God?" "I was better off before!" "Why don't You care about me?" "You're not helping me!" We can test Him and argue with Him and complain against Him like the Israelites did thousands of years ago. We can whine and offend His works and unfailing love, like a 4-year-old against her mom. How quickly we can forget all He's done for us! Or we can choose to focus on gratefulness. And if you're really stuck, we can all start with the lesson "Did you breathe today? God gave that to you."

"Do everything without complaining and arguing..."

~Philippians 2:14

Freedom on a Budget

My husband and I are budgeters. He kinda converted me to the practice of extreme budgeting, but now we're an Excel-spreadsheet kind of couple. Practically every dollar earned and spent each month is accounted for. While it seems rigid from the outside, there is actually so much freedom and peace of mind in knowing that when we simply stick to the plan, we will have absolutely everything we need that month (and more!). Groceries, bills, gas, date nights, family outings, savings, giving - all allotted and divided into their appropriate amounts. By staying in the given boundaries, and not blowing it all on a whim, we're able to know we will always have enough.

This past weekend I helped host a Faith & Fitness day at our little, local church. We had a solid hour workout class with 3 different instructors and an eye-opening, encouraging discussion on nutrition. We delved into what the Bible says about it all, and enjoyed a luncheon of salad and smoothies with a bunch of lovely, sweaty ladies afterwards. As hard as we worked out, it was such a peace-filled, satisfying morning. And even though I helped lead the event, I ended up hearing and leaving with some serious truth from my nutrition-savy friend. It was along the lines of when we live within God-given boundaries, like simplicity and self-control, we actually receive freedom in return. Obviously this can be applied to other things in life, but she focused it specifically to food. Living within boundaries provides freedom? This is not something the rest of the world will tell you. The reply might be boundaries are no fun. "Diets" suck. Rules are for breaking. Right? But I know that through other simple, controlled boundaries in life, I HAVE gained freedom. With money and marriage, with alarm clocks, with discipline in parenting, even with monitoring what my eyes see and my ears hear throughout my day - when I set up the boundary, freedom follows. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free..." Galatians 5:1

So, contrary to my Hot Fudge Sundae self, I'm setting up some boundaries. With two kids and my schedule at home, I can't fit in double sessions at the gym like I did in college. I can't compensate my devout love of food with constant workouts anymore. And really, where's the boundary in that? It's almost like consistently sinning and running to confess, instead of just cutting off the sin. (Not that eating is a sin, unless it's gone to gluttony, then it might be in the running.) Anyway, I've decided to budget my food. To set the limit, to put the "don't pass this line" tape up. And in doing so, I'm expecting freedom, freedom from food. I'm only on Day 3, so I'm still in the baby stages, but this is a big step nevertheless. I'm also expecting God to meet me here, help me, and bless my self-controlled, simplified attempt of honoring Him with my body, specifically what/how much I'm putting into it. So I've got my plan, my budget is laid out, and I'm actually excited to have boundaries in place. Knowing I won't blow it all on a whim, while always having enough. Not feeling entitled to ALL of it, but instead satisfied with ENOUGH of it. Thank you friend for the encouragement; now here's to accountability!   :)

You say, 'I'm allowed to do anything' - but not everything is good for you. And even though, 'I'm allowed to do anything,' I must not become a slave to anything.  ~1 Corinthians 6:12

Faith & Fitness

Faith & Fitness Day

Saturday, January 19th, 2013

10 a.m. to noon

Crossroads Community Church

445 Oakshade Road, Shamong, NJ

-Workout with 3 Local Fitness Instructors-

Scripture, Prayer, Nutrition and More

Childcare Provided
Open to all Ladies in the area 

Bring a friend!
Wear comfortable clothes. 
If you have your own free weights and/or mat, 
bring that along too

Contact: michelle.umbehauer@gmail.com 

he isn't here..

This morning I found myself stupidly staring at Facebook. I was on Drew's profile, just purposelessly looking. Even though he passed away a few months ago, Facebook still declared to the world today that it's his birthday. I've wished him happy birthday every year for the last 14 years, actually in person before Facebook, imagine that. So naturally I thought I'd just write a typical "happy birthday drewy poo" on his wall anyway. Then I thought, as much as this might make me feel better right now, birthdays probably aren't relevant where he is. So instead I sat there just thinking about how he surrendered himself to God before he died, and how awesome that is. And I tried to think from an eternal perspective instead of an earthly one filled with Facebook and birthdays and tears. When I finally snapped out of it and stopped staring at my laptop, I thought of this story from the Bible.

Days after Jesus had died, Matthew 28 tells us Jesus' dear friends "Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb". Both Marys loved him and watched him suffer and die, they were there when he was buried, but now they are going back to look, not at a person, just a tomb. I could imagine them not knowing what to do, they were thinking about him constantly and wanted to feel close to him, so the best idea they could come up with was to just go and look. At first they were staring at a sealed tomb, but then "an angel of the Lord came down from Heaven" and said, "“Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said." 

Drew's not here. And as much silly comfort as it gives me (and maybe you) to stare at his Facebook, just like Jesus' friends stared at His tomb, he isn't there. He isn't on this Earth, he isn't on Facebook. He is remembered in our hearts, but he has risen, just as God said. He is not here; he's with God, and that's an awesome birthday. Miss you friend. 

Staying in the Fence

Today the kiddos and I went for a walk around our new block. Despite the freezing weather, I bundled everyone up to get a dose of some fresh air and sunshine. We saw horses, an old general store turned pizza shop, an antiquated little church, the elementary school Baileigh will be going to next year, a big frozen lake, and an adorable dog in a sweater. We had deep talks about kindergarten expectations, educational lessons on hibernation and migration, and inquiries about shock collars and electric fences. She noticed that the cute, clothed dog we saw only came so far. She could tell he wanted to come see us, but he didn't. She asked why and I told her that his collar was like the silver string around the horses fence that can buzz if they go too far; it keeps them safe inside. She said,



"Oh I get it, it's just because their owner doesn't want them to get lost." 

What a beautiful image of God my daughter gave me in that moment. I thought about the fences and how they are just like the protective guidelines our Father gives us. Not to hurt us, or because He doesn't want us to have any fun, but simply because our Owner doesn't want us to get lost. He knows if we cross the line that He's established for us, we'll end up hurting ourselves and wandering farther and farther away from Him.

I had in my mind a story from Baileigh's children's Bible that Doug had read to her last night and our walk gave me the metaphor I needed to keep it on my mind and store it in my heart. It says "Now some people think the Bible is a book of rules, telling you what you should and shouldn't do. The Bible certainly does have some rules in it. They show you how life works best." Just like the fence where the owner has the animals best interest in mind and obviously hopes to keep them close by, God uses His "rules" as a protective fence showing us how life works best, and He would know, considering He created it. It's all about His best for us and what He originally intended, before we ran off like a defiant pet. The story reminds us though that the main character of the Bible isn't the defiant pet, it's the Owner. "But the Bible isn't mainly about you and what you should be doing. It's about God and what He has done...No, the Bible isn't a book of rules...the Bible is most of all a Story...There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. The Story of how God loves His children and comes to rescue them.*"

Just like the owner that loves their animal, God set up a fence. We broke right through it and ran off, not realizing how much it would hurt. But like any good owner would do, God came running after us, not stopping until He found us; He went to every length possible to rescue us. Our Owner doesn't want us to be lost, so why won't we just stay, obey, and trust Him. God used a 4-year-old (again), a shock collar, and a children's book to speak into my heart today. What about you..



*The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones