Can't Do Attitude

I grew up in a home that taught confidence. Beginning with The Little Engine That Could ("I think I can, I think I can") to reciting Muhamed Ali quotes in the mirror ("I'm the greatest. I'm the best. Nobody can beat me!"). It was great as a kid thinking I could do just about anything I put my mind to. I believed I could, so I could. But as I grow older, as a mom, a wife, and a plain-old human being, I am learning the value in admitting "I can't". Now I'm not talking about having a negative attitude on life or abilities, but a surrendered attitude. Replacing "I think I can, I think I can" with "I know You can, I know You can".

Philippians 4:13, I like to say, is the motivational saying to end all motivational sayings. If you know, believe, and assure yourself over and over again of this, there's no need for Dr. Phil phrases or Oprah Ah-ha moments. It certifies that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Through Christ is the key. Not through trying really hard. Not through wishing. Not through thinking about it. But through Christ and the strength that only He can give me. I can do everything I need to do through Christ, because He strengthens me, helps me, equips me. He can, but only when we're willing to confess we can't. We can't overcome our addiction. We can't stop worrying. We can't forgive that person. Whatever it is you just can't do, it's OK and true to surrender and declare that (on your own) you CAN'T! But through Him, you CAN! Through Him, we can do all things, says the Word of God, but without Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). So why do we have it so flipped upside down in our heads sometimes? Instead of reassuring yourself about yourself, reassure yourself of Him. He is ABLE, and through Him we are able to do all things, this and that, everything. Face any circumstance, all conditions, every situation. The Amplified Bible translation, which goes more in depth with some of the original Hebrew or Greek definitions, gives this beautiful version of the motivational saying to end all motivational sayings:

 ^"I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me. I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency."

He empowers me. He infuses inner strength into me. Christ is all and through Him I can do all. Without Him, I can't. It's OK, say it... I can't.

Taking Back Marriage

Last Valentine's Day, I realized that the holiday may be bound to disappoint. I didn't mean to put a damper on the day, but truthfully, we are just imperfect people. We try to love and be loved, but God loves us more than anyone ever could. And our understanding of love and our ability to love others needs to stem from THAT relationship above all else. With that being said, my husband booked us a couple's cooking class on Valentine's Day this year (after some serious hinting on my part)! So I'm looking forward to Heart Day more than usual. But I am so thankful for the gift God has given me in my husband. My second love, next to the Lord. Doug knows he's the #2 seed, and he's glad for it. He'd say the same about my standing as well. Because by understanding God and our love-relationship with Him first, we are able to better live out our marriage, attempting to mirror the Love God has shown to us. Marriage is the closest glimpse we'll receive on Earth, person-to-person, to the kind of relationship God has always desired between us and Himself. Marriage is just a taste of what's to come. And God knew what He was doing when He created it; it was a gift for us, His beloved children.

When I think about all of that, I get pumped up about marriage! It's something Doug and I have always taken very seriously, but also joyfully, purposefully, prayerfully. And we've been blessed with influences that have taught us even more how significant marriage is, and how our marriage, specifically, can be significant. We put time aside each week just to reflect, plan, and pray for our marriage. We've committed to putting at least one weekend aside each year to reconnect and refresh our marriage. Even still, our marriage isn't perfect because it's a combining of two imperfect people, but we can press towards the goal of reflecting God's love in our marriage, and we really try to. So in a world that feels like it's perfectly OK to take back marriage like you would take back an ugly sweater, I am taking back marriage to what it was originally intended to be: a blessing that is to be taken seriously. Ephesians 5 gives us a beautiful example of what marriage was created to look like, some may see it as old-fashioned or unbalanced, but that's only because they don't understand the love-respect relationship that we're aiming to emulate, that of Christ and ourselves! Pauls summarizes his whole explanation of marriage by saying "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)  When someones loves you like he loves himself, it pretty easy to respectfully love him back. And that's an awesome place to start!

I have to say, it's been pretty upsetting to me seeing people my age, reaching their mid-twenties, and their reactions to marriage. I've seen a lot of statuses saying things along the lines of  "If I see one more engagement update I'm going to throw up!" or "I don't care that you are getting married-shut up!" Or on the other hand, peers of mine who are already on their way to or finalizing a divorce publicly, and people "liking" and cheering them along, like they just achieved something? I don't understand and I won't accept this way of thinking. It's a misunderstanding, a big lie. Whether you're married or not, it's not OK, and you don't have to play along with it. Will you take back marriage with me? What it was intended to be, what it stands for, what it could be. Significant. Joyful. Committed. Celebrated.

Think on love this Valentine's Day: the One who loved you first, and maybe the one who loved you second. <3 "..a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one."
Genesis 2:24

New

For the month of January at our home pre-school, we focused on the theme of  "new".  New Year. New home. New friends. New Jersey. Lots of newness! Our bible verse was 2 Corinthians 5:17 which Baileigh can tell you says, "Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person, the old life is gone and the new life has begun." With this theme of new and this matching verse, I was able to share my testimony with my daughter for the first time. It was in the simplest form possible, but it still took a lot for me to share with her. I just said, "You know, Jesus made Mommy a new person. Daddy too. We didn't know Jesus when we were growing up. But now that we do, He has completely changed us. We're so glad our old life is gone." The only thing she didn't understand was how I could have not known about Jesus, I guess because her day-to-day is pretty filled with Him. But that just made me feel like I must be doing something right! She and I learned some of the sign language to go along with the verse like we usually do, but this time, it really connected with me. The sign used for "gone" looks like you're pulling something out of your brain, like literally removing it from your mind. I loved that. It wasn't like you were pushing it behind you or sweeping it under the rug. Instead it's removed. Extracted. Erased. Gone. For good.

Marriage Retreat 2013

I know it. But even still, there's times when I'll hear a whisper telling me it's not true. "You're still who you were, you'll never really change, that's just what you've always been." The lies like to creep in my head when I'm not paying attention, and lately they've been pretty loud. But good thing I memorized that Truth last month with my 4-year-old and the Truth overrides it all. I belong to Christ. He has made me new. My old life is gone. My new life is here. And He is continuing to make me new in all aspects of my life. The obvious ones are the things I can see: how I spend my time, what I choose to do and say. But even deep in my heart and mind, He has and still is making all of it new. The Bible says to not act like everyone else or like you used to, but instead to let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. (Romans 12:2) Another translation of that same verse says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Let God renew your mind. He can make not only you and your life new on the outside, but every thought new. Completely new. Not how you once thought, not how you've thought for as long as you can remember. Not giving in to the lie that it's how I've always been and how I'll always be. But instead LETTING God transform you, starting with the way you think. Don't settle for how it was. Don't be content with how it's always been. Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The old life, all of it, is gone. Get rid of it. Pull it out of your brain, like the sign illustrates so powerfully, and don't let it back in. Then hand your mind over to God and He will make it new. Fill it with Truth and don't leave room for the lies. If they sneak in, pull em out again and replace them with more Truth. I recently confessed to my husband that I've really been doubting myself and my abilities, and Doug said so simply, "Then you need more Jesus." Touche babe. Only He is able to make beautiful things where junk once stood, but you have to let Him, and be willing to let your old ways of thinking go, and replace it with new, new, new. When you do this (Romans 12:2 continues) then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  

"Letting go of my past

And glad I have another chance

And my heart will dance

'Cause I don't have to read that page again

Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone"

-Kirk Franklin, "Imagine Me"

(I came across this song in college. 

It gave me my first glimpse of what "new" could look like; 

the end still gets me every time)